The Story Game.

Satirica Is Here!

2008-10-19T08:02:00.009-05:00

It’s here! The Satirica Anthology, featuring my story “The Babies at Nae-Long,” is out and on shelves! In hardback and everything! Here, Have some picturey goodness:

Ooooh! Aaaaah! Pretty spiff-looking, no?

So yeah, I disappear for a month at a time and then I just waltz back into your life, no “hi, how ya doin’” no “I love you and missed you,” not even an explanation for where I’ve been, just shillin’ my filthy wares all across the internet. That appears to be how I roll. But okay, a brief where-I’ve-been: China for awhile, which was awesome. More on that to come. Then back here, to the law mines, desperately trying to catch up on mountains of work before I returned to feed the blog monster. I grant that took a little more time than I expected, but I am back in full force now. I doubt I’ll be able to catch up on all the great blogging I’ve missed, though, so if you have big news that I missed, please tell me in a comment or message!

Okay, so back to the antho. For those who missed earlier discussion, Satirica is an anthology that looks to examine social problems and realities in our society through a satirical lens (but in the original sense of satire, i.e, social critique, not in the “humorous” sense. My story, especially, is not very funny). It’s full of a lot of great up-and-coming authors, and a few more established names, as well.

My own work aside, I’ve really enjoyed all the stories in this and am ecstatic to be a part of it. Roy Dudgeon has done a great job putting it together, and I am forever in his debt. Each story is interesting, unique, and will hopefully go a long way toward making you think about society in general, the human condition, and the world around us. Also, it’s big: 24 stories = more bang for your buck. And who doesn’t like bang?

Anyway, Satirica is currently available on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble. I saw the other day that Amazon was already nearly sold out and going back for more copies, which is a big hooray, but I think they're ordered up again. I will likely grab a few myself, and maybe give one or two away here? Would there be any interest in that? Let me know.

So there, with a bang (aforementioned good thing), I am back and promise to be a good little community-member from here on out! Coming soon-- the terror of vacation summary!

Shameless Self-Promotion: Spamdemonium Edittion (LJ X-Post)

2008-06-06T15:05:00.001-05:00

As of June 1, the first issue of the third year of Jim Baen’s Universe Magazine went live, including my story, Spamdemonium. For any of you who don’t know Baen’s Universe, it’s a professional-level, SFWA recognized speculative fiction magazine founded by the late SF novel publisher Jim Baen and edited by world-renowned SF authors Eric Flint and Mike Resnick (who, I learned this weekend, has garnered more Hugo nominations for short fiction than any other author in history). Baen’s goal has been to put out quality fiction that’s actually fun to read; stories that could compete for the audience’s beer money.

Spamdemonium is my first ever professional level sale, and I’m super proud to have it in Baen’s. What’s even more awesome is that they’ve had artist Kip Ayers draw not one but two new illustrations for it. Sweet! Kip does a fantastic job of capturing the mood.

Anyway, if you’ve got the time and the change, check it out! It’s only $6.00 for the issue, which also has a ton of great stories from such names as Jay Lake, M. Allen Ford, Eugie Foster, and Eric Flint himself, so you’re really getting your money’s worth. Here’s the link, and the link directly to my story, where you can read the first half as a teaser.

x-post from LJ: Con Report

2008-06-02T20:14:00.005-05:00

Last week, carrie_ryanand I were fortunate enough to stumble upon the fact that ConCarolinas, which we discovered the week after it happened last year, was scheduled for this very weekend just about 15 minutes from our house. I had never been to a con before, and I always wanted to, but honestly I've been a little nervous about them. I am not so much the how-you-say social animal, though I am the how-you-say extreme dork, so there was some conflict (con-flict. Get it?) there. Fortunately, with ConCarolinas nearby, we could easily go together and sample without committing to the whole thing. And this is what we did.

We didn’t make Friday, mostly on account of work (though we were both pretty upset to learn that we missed a panel on authors discussing thirteen ways the apocalypse could happen). Saturday, we mosied down for an 11 o’clock panel on novel writing (good stuff), stayed for a panel on the opening scene of your book (very good stuff), hit up a “first five-pages” workshop (could have used some work, but a few gems), did lunch and general con-stuff till 4, and then, the undoubted highlight, became zombies.

Yes, zombies. Who doesn’t love zombification? Clearly not us at the Davis-Ryan household. So when we saw the Bringing Out Your Inner Zombie panel, complete with zombie make-over, we knew we had found Our People. And yes, we have pictures (taken post-facto, unfortunately):

Unfortunately, we did not get pictures of the mini-zombie walk which followed the panel, but suffice it to say that from now on I cannot ever say that I have never shambled around a crowded convention center pretending to be a member of the living dead. It was a proud moment for us all. Looking forward to the big walk in October!

So over all con impressions: we had a great time. I gather it was fairly small by con standards, but there were still plenty of people there and lots of fun to be had. I also got to meet the illustrious Mike Resnick, celebrated author and editor at Baen’s Universe (speaking of which, check out the table of contents for this month’s issue. Lower. Lower. Under Introducing. Right there, that’s it! John Parke Davis-- ayup, that’s me! More on this later.), if only briefly. I am now a con-vert (yes, the puns can keep going), though I don’t think I would have had nearly as good a time alone, and I don’t know if I’m totally ready for one that took up the entire weekend-- it was nice to be able to pop in for most of Saturday then pop out and go home when we were ready.

Oh, and did I mention Zombie Board/Card Games? Yes, we bought those. Lots of them. If you’re ever at our house, you will be forced to play them. Because zombies are awesome!

On Carrie Rocking and the Selection Process

2008-04-02T08:58:00.003-05:00

X-Post from LJ, which I have come to enjoy more and more these days. I feel like a traitor, but it's true:

Just a quick post to point everyone to this blog by Carrie's agent, Jim McCarthy of Dystal & Goderich. He has some fantastic things to say about Carrie's book, The Forest of Hands and Teeth, all of which are totally one-hundred percent true. I was blown away by FHT the moment carrie read me the opening line, and I continue to love it through today. I'm super-excited to see it doing well so far (with a year to go before publication-- almost exactly now) and getting the buzz it deserves. Melissa Marr (whose next book, Ink Exchange, is about to hit stores) also had a great post/review on it, which if you haven't seen, you should.

Another thing I like about Jim's post is that he tells us straight up how he reads: to reject. According to Jim, he reads the first 50 pages of manuscripts with the idea that he will reject them, and looking for a reason why. I have always thought this was the case with editors/agents, but this is the first time I've ever seen one own up to it. Most act as though they read each story with an open heart and mind, but I just don't believe it. How could they not read to reject? With that much material coming across their desks, with the fact that 90% of it is unpublishable and 95-98% won't make it pass the first cut, how could they not pick up the next story/book expecting to send it out with a form letter? Is this unfair? To some stories, probably. But ultimately, it results in most of the wheat getting separated from the chaff, so I think it's probably a necessary evil that helps the end reader get the best product in the long run.

Now granted, the writing community doesn't want to hear that their work isn't getting any charity, but I think it's really important to know this, and actually ought to make us feel better and write better. First, the "feel better" part: If the reader is really approaching your writing with a perfectly open mind, the way you approach a book on the shelf or a story in a magazine, and they don't like it, that says something bad about your writing. If they're approaching it with a mind looking to reject, well, that doesn't necessarily mean your piece was bad. It just means they viewed everything that could have been viewed as either a craft choice or a mistake (the way ee cummings could be viewed as either a mold-breaking genius or an idiot who didn't know punctuation, for example) in the worst light possible, and you didn't make it through that level of review.

Personally, I believe this is the main reason published authors often have an easier time selling-- they can get away with things that an unpubbed author can't, because the editor/agent, and also the end reader, knows them well enough to trust that when they do something that might normally be considered "wrong," they're doing it intentionally.

Second, why this should make us write better: we have to understand that we aren't getting any freebies. Our writing has to be on top of its game 100%. If you're like me, you've read something you've written, liked it, but seen something in it that you think "well, maybe that could be viewed some other way, but it's fine, everyone will get it." My guess is that this type of thing has cut short the career of many could-be-published stories, mine among them. So now we have to write tightly, to make sure everything is in its right place and as perfect as it can be, and in general, doesn't that make for a better story? I know it's made me a better editor of my own work.

Anyway, thank you Jim McCarthy for giving me a reason to believe my own crazy conspiracy-theory mentally-constructed view of the publishing industry (oh, and see here for a good discussion of all the reasons you should never believe a word I say). And thank you for pulling carrie's book out of the slush and recognizing it for the real gem that it is, and for being awesome to her the way she deserves. Thank you so much for that. You rock.

Thoughts on Rejection

2008-03-25T05:08:00.002-05:00

Recently, a few things on the blogosphere have got me thinking about my semi-abandoned ventures into short story writing. I’ve spoken very negatively about short story writing as a career move in the past, and I still stand by those sentiments-- if you want to make any kind of actual attempt at writing as a viable career path, I honestly believe you have to be some kind of masochist to go the short story route. Not that the novel route isn’t difficult in its own right, but the short story path is just inefficient-- it’s like the difference between walking to China and dragging yourself there with your lips.

That said, I think I learned an awful lot in the nearly two years I spent trying to sell short stories, and I think that for the most part, these things have made me a better writer. First, the technical aspect: you learn how to take rejection. When I was just beginning submitting, I believed that editors were the anointed gatekeepers to the realms of all things wonderful and desirable, and once I could show them that I knew the Secret of Writing (don’t ask me what I thought that was-- I didn’t know, I just believed I had it) by offering a publishable story, they would recognize me and admit me into the ranks of the sanctified Published. And so I sent my stories out, eager and excited, and I got them back, sometimes flat-out rejected, sometimes with ‘good, but...'s, and sometimes with ‘die in a fire and never darken my doorstep again's. And each time one of those came, it hit me like a blow to the gut, that tumbling feeling of infinite falling, like the ground has given way and there’s nothing but a pit of failure awaiting you for the rest of forever.

But I persevered. I believed in my writing. I kept editing and sending out. And I made a sale or two. The sales seemed like they should usher me into the club, but they didn’t change a thing, and each rejection made me question myself more and more. Did I just suck? Were these stories I was so proud of really awful? If not, why else did they keep getting thrown away so callously? Then I got a rejection from Gordon Van Gelder at F&SF, to me one of the holy grails of short fiction selling. For those who aren’t plugged into the short fiction markets, getting to Gordon is an accomplishment in and of itself-- J.J. Adams, the cruel F&SF slush god, bars the gates and guards them closely (of the six or so stories I’ve sent them since, not a one has made it to Gordon’s desk). The rejection basically read along the lines of “nothing wrong with this story, but ultimately I decided it wasn’t for us.”

And that was all there was to it. He read it, said “this is a fine story,” and decided not to publish it. It seemed so unfair... I had written a story that was publishable! Publishable in his magazine! His magazine, which could (I believed) pole-vault my career to new heights! How could I not get in? How could they just deny me like that?

So I did what any good writer would do: I sulked on it for awhile. But it made me really think about these magazines for awhile, and the way they’re run. And finally it dawned on me that editors were just readers who happened to publish their favorite pieces. Nothing less, nothing more. And we’re all going to encounter readers who don’t like what we write at one time or another. And (hopefully) we will find the readers who do love what we write, and we will find readers all across the spectrum in between. Submitting to an editor/agent is choosing one reader at random (well, with some education, hopefully), and betting that they will be one of the ones who likes the story.

But it’s more than that. Because the editor/agent is doing more than looking for something that they can recognize as meeting a certain X level of proficiency or entertainment-- they’re looking for something they are going to put their own name on. Something they can take ownership in. Something they want connected with them personally, and something that expresses something about them personally (because why would you put your name on something if you weren’t invested in it?) Basically, when we submit, we’re hoping not only that the editor/agent will like it, but that they will be such a big fan, they will want everyone to think about them when they think about your story.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but that makes the rejection process go a lot easier. The editors, the agents, they aren’t rejecting me, they’re just saying that they aren’t the perfect audience for my story. And maybe the perfect audience won’t have their own publishing house, but it doesn’t make the story worse for it; it’s just happenstance. That’s the nature of rejection-- sometimes things just don’t find the right ears for them, no matter how good they are. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer. It just means you have to keep writing until the right piece hits the right place at the right time. And it will happen. That near miss finallly did catch the right ear, ending up getting published in Ideomancer, which I think was the perfect home for it. So just give it time, and don’t give up.

On Writing Again

2008-03-10T09:15:00.001-05:00

It feels good to be writing again, even if I am essentially wandering through the desert of words, searching for hidden plot oases, and stumbling upon innumerable mirages along the way. Right now, I’m approximately three chapters in, and my process appears to have two-steps. Step One: Write in a flurry Sunday night until a chapter is written. Step Two: spend the rest of the week trying to figure out what the hell happens next. Given that my chapters are extraordinarily short (about 2,000 words), and that I’m shooting for about 70,000 total, I should be done in a mere 32 weeks. Wow. When I crest 10k, I might even invest in a word meter. Fancy!

So, you’re all likely not wondering how I managed to get out of my prior writing funk and got geared up to go again. I will tell you-- the biggest thing for me came from removing the pressure. I had been pushing myself hard to break into the short-story market, and each time I hit a success, I would just push myself even harder. Nothing I wrote, none of my ideas made me happy. And writing in general didn’t make me happy. I wanted to be “there” so badly that I wasn’t focused on the work.

Sometime around mid-January, I got a very nice but still devastating rejection for a story of my from Talebones, where it had been on hold for some time… it was a “near miss” for one of my best story, which has received several of those (including one from Writers of the Future.) I got a little depressed-- it seemed I was just getting tons of so-close-but-yet-so-fars, and it really frustrated me thinking that maybe if Jim Van Pelt hadn’t been such a good writer, I might be out there right now! And then it occurred to me that I didn’t want to do this anymore.

Not writing, but writing for publication. And by that I don’t mean attempting to get my writing published, I mean attempting to write things that are publishable, at least in the short fiction market. My motivation to publish had gotten out of control, and the constant stream of rejections that are the incident of short fiction writing wasn’t helping. It was squashing my ability to write at all. But I still wanted to be published. And I certainly still wanted to write.

So here’s what I did: I put a moratorium on short story submissions. Nothing can go out for at least six months. Then I decided to write a novel, if the story idea came, and I decided that I wouldn’t write it for publication. I have gathered from many folks that their first novel didn’t sell, and this makes a lot of sense to me: my first short story didn’t sell, and wasn’t even close to selling. You have to go around the block at least once to learn the form. So that’s what this guy is all about. And once I set the ground rules, presto-bango, the story came!

That said, I’m very excited about the idea, and can’t wait to see where it goes. It’s nice to have that feeling again. It’s a young adult, probably due to all the YA I’ve been reading to stay in touch with Carrie’s market. I never considered YA to be my thing, and this very well may not stay that way, but the idea just didn’t quite click until I imagined it that way. We’ll see what happens-- frankly, my goal right now is to do the best I can on this one, but primarily just to figure out what long-form writing is all about. Wish me luck!

Good News, Everyone!

2008-03-02T18:39:00.001-05:00

I don’t know who amongst you doesn’t already know this, because I am, as they say in France “le behind the times,” but Carrie and I are engaged! Woo-Hoo!!!!!! It’s been four long years and some change in the coming, but well worth the wait. I really honestly can’t express in words how amazing my life is because of this woman. I can’t imagine it without her, and frankly, I don’t want to, and so I’m not going to-- I’m going to spend the rest of it with her. If you don’t know Carrie, you should get to know her. She’s honestly the most caring, wonderful, intelligent, funny, all around awesome person I’ve ever met. And did I mention that she’s a hot-hot-hot YA author and a high-powered trusts and estates attorney all at the same time? She is. And she agreed to marry me, of all people! Did I mention “Woo-Hoo?”

So the deets in quick: we go to Williamsburg every year circa Valentine’s Day. The reasoning for this is arcane, but essentially boils down to the fact that the first year I wanted to surprise her with a fun trip she wouldn’t be expecting, and it worked out so well we decided to keep going back. We do this every year, and each year is awesome. I decided in early January that this was the place and the time to get ‘er done, and the specific place was the one place we always, always go back to and have a fantastic time at-- the Winery. Let me make this clear right now for the world: we are winos, and the Williamsburg Winery provides it high-quality and cheap. I heartily recommend all their whites as the best value money can buy (the reds less so, but still good).

So yes, we got engaged in a wine cellar. I strongly recommend this method to the gentlemen (and/or trend-bucking ladies)-- the wine curbs your anxiety and lowers her resolve, the perfect one-two punch. I stammered out some words that went much better in my head but which she was kind enough to immediately forget, went down on one knee, produced the box, and, as our awesome tour guide Bill looked on, we got engaged! One more time with the Woo-Hoo! No idea when the wedding will be, but now it’s pretty much assured to be some time!

In other news, I have officially, if temporarily, divorced myself from short story writing for reasons discussed in more detail here. That said, I am now working on my first novel. I don’t necessarily have high hopes; I consider this more of a learning experience than an actual attempt to create something salable. I’m really excited about it, though, and excited to be writing again, and that’s what’s really important to me right now. I promised I wouldn’t say anything here until I finished Chapter 2, which I did today (and which is why I've been absent for awhile). I think I’ll talk in more length about the process that took me from total not-writing to writing regularly again some other time, but I think that deserves its own post-- right now I just wanted to let the world know that I’m back in the game, baby

Story-Telling in Video Games: Oblivion and The Shivering Isles

2008-02-04T21:54:00.000-05:00

It’s been a little while since my last post, for several reasons: 1) I’m lazy. 2) I’ve been throwing myself at Day Job with renewed vigor. 3) I’ve actually been focusing on honest-to-god writing (more to come on that sometime in the near future). 4) I finally picked up the Shivering Isles Expansion to The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and allowed it to suck away my free-time into a sweet abyss of hardcore videogametry.

Last night, I finally put the main quest/plot of The Shivering Isles to rest, and I must say: it was way better than the main plot behind Oblivion itself. What’s interesting, though, is that both quests follow the same basic plot structure, which led me to reflect on story-telling in videogames and in stories in general, and I have decided to inflict my insights on you.

First, brief praise for Oblivion: It’s amazing. They’ve really created an enormous, fully functioning fantasy world that’s reminiscent of living in some of my favorite novels from my teenage years, like Sword of Shannara or The Ruby Knight. If you like fantasy, it is worth buying Oblivion just to live in its world for a little while. I used to get up early in the mornings just so I could spend time decorating my in-game house with various trophies, including a lovely floral arrangement on the mantle. Seriously.

That aside, the serious weakness of Oblivion is story. The Oblivion plot, in a nutshell is this: the land has known relative peace for some indeterminate period of time. Now, Mysterious Bad Guys have done Very Bad Things to overthrow the peaceful order and initiate an invasion from a demonic other-dimension, culminating in the arrival of Ancient Untold Evil. Naturally, You are a seemingly insignificant commoner who is thrust into the midst of things and must go on a quest to become a Legendary Hero and stop the invasion more-or-less single-handedly. We will call this Standard Fantasy Plot B. The world of Oblivion, and the myriad things to do in it, made this rather uninspired plot overlookable. If it was a novel, on the other hand, I would have put it down. Not because it was bad per se, but because it was simply uninspired.

The plot to The Shivering Isles, on the other hand, goes along these lines: You (same dude from the main quest) travel to a foreign realm where an age of peace is interrupted by the Coming of The Ancient Evil, being an invasion from demonic other-dimensional beings, and culminating in the arrival of the Ancient Untold Evil. You are charged with combating said beings and Evil and breaking the millennial cycle of destruction. We’ll call that Standard Fantasy Plot B, Cycle-of-Doom Subtype.

With the exception of the fact that in the main quest, the demonic invasion is a new thing, whereas in Shivering Isles, it’s a once-a-millennium devastation party, these two basic plotlines are pretty much identical. The difference is in the execution. Main Quest takes place in a pretty standard elf-and-troll filled fantasy world, with your standard stalwart companions, retardedly obstinant rulers, and ludicrously maniacal bad guys. Shivering Isles, on the other hand, takes place in the other-worldly domain of the God of Madness, where giant mushroom trees stretch up into a shattered sky filled with pink constellations and odd galaxies. The primary quest-giver is the God of Madness himself, and everyone you interact with is crazy in his or her own unique, personal way. And the Ancient Evil is, well, I’ll avoid spoiling it, but the secret behind the whole affair is a bit of a nice twist, though not the necessarily the most mind-blowing one ever made.

I guess the point of all of this is that you have side-by-side an example of taking the same basic plot and doing it the trite way or doing it the original way. The Main Quest takes no real risks, and it ends up being palatable, but more of an impediment to the game's greatness than anything else. Shivering Isles, on the other hand, without really altering the same basic underlying plot progression, achieves something memorable and satisfying, all through toying with the details surrounding that old tired plotline.

For me, the take away is that you don’t have to come up with the world’s most original plot to create a great story. You just have to tell the story in a unique way. The Commoner-Who-Would-Be-King is a story we’ve all seen so many times that it’s nauseating to think about. But make the commoner a dragonfly and the kingdom into a world of perpetually melting ice crystals, and suddenly its worth your time to look over.

Interesting things to think about. I think I will ponder them while I tie up a few loose ends to in Oblivion…

Wisdom From the Stars

2008-01-24T07:53:00.000-05:00

I’ve gotten a lot of great advice on writing since my post below on writing anxieties, both from the great comments people have left and through sheer serendipity. I figured I would share some of what I’ve received with you hear, along with my thoughts. First up, this great post from Tiffany Trent posted over on kazdreamer’s LJ:

You know what's interesting about that? I remember having worries about that and remember feeling left in the backwaters when my writing buddy left me in the dust while I was still struggling to write the *same* novel over and over. Looking back now, I realize those worries were just blocking me from doing what I had to do. It takes as long as it takes. And if you waste more energy worrying about what you could or should have done, you are shortchanging the writing you could be doing now. It seems to me that it's all about energy flow. Where do you want the most energy to go? Into your writing or your anxiety about not doing it years ago? And believe me that once you are published in the manner that you hope for (whether it's in a big magazine or with a good house, etc.), you'll have a whole new set o'worries, no matter whether you shoot straight to the top or into the midlist. That I can promise. But the baseline is always arse-in-chair doing the work the best way you know how and *believing* that the work is worth doing for its own sake. (With layers of complexity added as you continue to publish...)
…
Seriously, I know how all this feels. I still have these anxieties. But there comes a point where the anxieities can cripple, and I hate to see that happen to anyone. Fear suffocates the future. I try not to let it, as best as I can. My motto (get ready for the cheese): It's about the story, not the glory.

Well said. For me, there are two major things in this post that really resonate: a) the idea that anxiety channels energy you could be using otherwise; and b) “believing” that the work is worth doing for its own sake. The first, I think, is definitely true-- all this energy, time, and frustration I use worrying about not writing, or writing junk, is energy I could be using to create a story, time I could be using to write it down, and frustration I could be spending banging my head against some arcane plot point. Now, of course, knowing this doesn’t make it go away, but I think recognizing it is a healthy attitude towards getting there.

The second point is a huge step towards getting there, and ties in with my second source of advise. Carrie and I went to a group for lawyers/writers the other night (more details here). The organizers had done a great job, and got John Hart, author of the New York Times best selling King of Lies and Down River (neither of which I have actually read, but I'm working on Down River), to come speak. John, with no prompting from me, talked a lot about writing through fear, and with fear. One thing that he definitely talked about a good bit was writing with faith. Not religious faith, but faith in your work. I think this is exactly what tltrent was talking about-- “Believing that the work is worth doing for its own sake.” You have to have faith that what you’re going to do is good, and use that faith to push through the fear.

The more I think about this, the more it feels like a good mantra to push you over the edge into the “butt-on-chair” phase. Because that’s what it takes, I think-- not an end to fear, but a leap of faith. A large part of writing is just closing our eyes, stepping off the ledge Indiana Jones style, and trusting that the floating path to the Grail is going to be there. Trust that this piece will be good, or if it isn’t, will be worth writing anyway. And as for fear, well, I’ve always thought that real courage wasn’t “not being afraid;” real courage is being scared as hell and doing it anyway.

One final piece of advice that happened to land in my lap: on the same day I posted my fear piece, J.A. Konrath posted these words of wisdom, straight on point. It’s about getting involved with crit groups and other writers, etc. This really hit home for me, because I still think that the real, best answer to dealing with our fears as writers is to share them, recognize that we all go through them, even if everyone’s are a little different, and help support each other when we need a prop up.

So are my troubles ended? Hell no. In fact, if I make it through next week without another Fear of Falling post, I’ll be doing well. But I’ve gotten a lot of good advice, and I’m going to take some time to digest it and let it sink in. Then I think I might sit down and do some writing.

Story Game Updated

2008-01-22T07:35:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to say we have two new stories up at The Story Game. For those of you unfamiliar with that site, The Story Game is a little exercise my brother and I started between the two of us to keep us writing. The storylets we produce are really just intended for each other, and not for publication, but we’re pretty proud of the results, so we decided to throw them up on the web for the world to see.

Here’s a little teaser for mine. I plan to keep on noting new stories being posted on here, but I don't know if y’all are interested in these teasers, but I figured I’d try it out. If you like it, let me know and I’ll keep doing it.

-Excerpt-

Glam Sammy ducked down behind a hillock, his head pressed up against Nathan’s shoulder. Up ahead, a pack of scavvies pulled apart an old car, piece by piece, holding up the good metal and shouting to the sky as they did.

“Back where I’m from,” Glam Sammy said, “we have names for everything. Everything, you know? That’s why this place creeps me out, you know? No names.”

Nathan shrugged. “Things got names here too,” he said. One of the scavvies wrenched out the car’s ashtray and bellowed in triumph, dancing around with it in his hands, a frayed wire dangling from it. “Jesus, look at these animals. They’d do that to a man in heartbeat, too, I know it.”

“No,” Glam Sammy said. “Everything has a word out here. Sun, dirt, sky. Those ain’t names. Where I’m from, they have names, like people, and we all know them, and they know us, too. Out here, nothing knows no one.”

Nathan shifted his weight, lifting his rifle into his hands. The scavvies were making a fire out of the car seats. That meant they were settling in for the night. Nathan had hoped it was early enough that they would move on before dark and he and Sammy could strip down what they left behind without a fight. Now, it would take a miracle just for them to sneak out unseen the way they had snuck in. He bit his lip and chewed on it for a minute. At least they had the element of surprise. And besides, this way, they got the whole shebang, not just the scavvies’ leavings.

“Get your gun ready,” he whispered to Sammy. Read on…

Fear of Falling

2008-01-17T08:51:00.000-05:00

I’m going to take some time today to talk about writer’s writing problems, because I have them and I strongly suspect I’m not the only one. The community at large acknowledges writer’s block, etc., but the answer is universally, “well, you just sit down and write and all will be fine.” But I’m not convinced that’s all there is to it. Sometimes, I think we need a little more support than the keyboard and the ever-hungry cursor.So here are my issues, and hopefully you will share your own and we can ger through them all together.

Writing has always been difficult for me, though well worthwhile, but over the last year, it’s gotten more and more painful, to the point where I’m pretty sure it’s caused a few minor stress-related physical issues. I think there are a number of causes for this. Liketa here they go--

1) Minor success puts the pressure on: I’ve sold a few stories, I’ve gotten some decent, if spartan, reviews from them, and though they haven't got much recognition, I really think that I can make a name for myself if I press on. And that puts the stress on the writing, which has always been painful, but never impossible. It’s like trying to pee while everyone is watching you. Maybe a better man than I can throw back his head, laugh, and let loose a mighty stream, but for a me, a drop is all I seem to be able to muster.

Feel free to use that analogy in casual conversation.

2) Major success puts the pressure on: This one’s probably relatively unique to me, though it might well apply to a number of you with writing partners who do well. I never thought I was intimidated by Carrie’s astonishing and well-deserved success, and honestly I was surprised by how not-jealous I was. But I realized yesterday that I really am intimidated by it, on a subconscious level. Maybe "intimidated" is the wrong word... I don't know. The funny thing is that we have this Ten Year Plan, and with the exception of recent writing frustrations, I am on track with where I wanted to be right now. But seeing her shoot to the top, I feel like I need to be there too, or else I’m just a hanger-on. I know this is ridiculous, but it’s the truth. Not sure how to deal with it, though. Of course, Carrie has worked a lot harder than me to get where she is, and she’s amazingly talented, and I chose a different medium to work in which doesn’t give you that same level of reward (see this post on my thoughts about that). But still, it is what it is, and it makes each time I sit down to write seem like it needs to be magical.

3) Flat-out fear that I suck: Self-esteem. I’m worried that the stories that I think are so great, every one else will dislike. Flat-out fear that you’re not as good as you think you are. I suspect many (most?) of us have or have had this issue at one point. And given the nature of the business, I’m not sure how to deal with it, other than just being persistent, keep throwing things out there, and see what works. Maybe I just need to give myself permission to write crap, as they say, but I'm not sure I know how.

4) I don’t read enough: This one I can remedy, and I am. I read a fair amount of short fiction last year, but only about 2 novels. This year, I’m changing that. I’m a slow reader, and already I’m 1.5 books into the year (with the .5 being the first half of the 580-page American Gods), and I plan to keep that up. Already, I can feel some of the ideas percolating in my head, which is nice, but they’re a long way from ready yet.

5) Inability to commit: I suspect this is a symptom of some of the others, but I have difficult sticking with an idea, out of worry that the one I choose will suck. This was made worse by the fact that I really pushed myself to put words to page during NaSto, and I thought the result was, well, pretty crappy.

So there’s a short laundry list of my issues right now. I’m fortunate, in the fact that I do know the one most key ingredient to getting through them, and that’s to not give up. And so I won’t. I may shift focus, shift frame, but I won’t give up, and I give that same advice to anyone who’s with me on this journey. Beyond that, I think there is a little more to the answer than “Just sit down and write and all will be well,” but what, I don’t know. So what are your anxieties? How do you work through them? And if you’re like me, and you’re stuck in a rut trying to make it through, let me know-- let’s work through them together.

A Quickie for Now

2008-01-16T14:10:00.000-05:00

Carrie put up a very nice, blush-inducing post about my writing on her blog. And I didn’t even have to pay her (much). She’s just that sweet.

Also, have you seen her placeholder website? You should! It’s awesome!

More soon. For now, work.

At Long Last, the Third Commandment!

2008-01-09T07:04:00.001-05:00

Quick recap: Commandment Numero Uno: Thou Shalt Grab Thy Reader’s Attention. Commandment Letter B: Thou Shalt Hold Thy Reader’s Attention Vigorously. And now, Commandment Three: Thou Shalt Deliver a Pay-Off Worthy of Thy Reader’s Time.

This one is pretty simple in concept, methinks, but not necessarily simple in execution. Essentially, at this point you have hooked your reader into reading your story, you have held his attention and kept him interested all the way to the end, so now what? Now you need to reward him for his effort. That is to say, you have to deliver an ending that makes the reader think, “Hey, that was totally worth my time. Yessir, time well spent.”

That’s it. Now that goal can be achieved in any number of ways, and it’s really a much more individualized story-type thing, so you can’t really say, “here’s how you do it.” But whatever way you do it, you have to leave the reader feeling satisfied rather than cheated, or worse, confused as to why he read this damn thing to begin with (an experience I recently had with a book that will go unnamed). How many times have you read a book or sat through a movie that you really enjoyed, and then the ending left you thinking, WTF, mate? It colors your perception of the whole thing.

One way to think about this commandment is as an extension of the other two: the reader must be interested. Giving the reader a proper pay-off is how you keep your reader interested to see your next story (be it a sequel or not). It’s also what makes the reader say “I want to share this with other people.” In the case of the first reader you’re trying to impress, an editor, that’s the only response that counts. The body of the story is a sales pitch. The ending is the product. If the pitch ain’t good, most folks will wander away before the product is unveiled. If the product ain’t good, well, they won’t buy it.

But it’s more than that. A reader reads a story because they want some kind of pay-off. That pay-off can be cheap entertainment, or it can be a more substantial, emotional message, or an intellectual one, or simple amusement. The ending is where you deliver. If your reader is there for the thrills, this is where he gets the BIG thrill before he gets off the ride, and if it’s lame, well, the rest of it might have been worthwhile, but it’s going to leave him feeling just a little disappointed, much more so than if the lame part came in the middle (though that might make him stop reading early, which, as we discussed, is a disaster in its own right). Worse, if you’re hoping to deliver a more substantial artistic message, the ending is where you wrap it up and bring that message home. If you miss there, you miss entirely. For the reader, it’s like being taken on a great journey only to have the tires blow out in the middle of nowhere and being forced to push the damn bus home. Guess what, Mr. Tour Guide? No one’s going to sign up for your next safari now.

So hook them. Keep them. Then give them what they came for. I may be the proverbial n00b in this business, and I will be the first to admit I have a long way to go as far as practicing what I preach here. And over all, this “advice” may not sound like anything more than simple intuition, and maybe it will be too vague to help anyone else out. But I’m surprised at how often I have to focus on these three simple rules in my own writing, and I hope keeping those goals in mind will help someone else with theirs. If anyone has anything else to add, please, jump on in. I’d love to hear what commandments keep your stories rolling.

Behold, An Unnecessarily Lengthy Resolutions Post

2008-01-02T07:56:00.001-05:00

That’s right, it’s the resolutions post! Oh boy! What Joy! Everybody dance!

First things first. Jim Van Pelt, who is rapidly becoming my hero, has a list of resolutions he wishes he had made when he first started writing. This list is truly excellent and some of the best advice I’ve seen out there, and so, as we in the legal community say, it is adopted and reinstated herein in its entirety by reference. And linkage.

Now to my own resolutions They’re very simple this year. I resolve to write a novel. That’s it.

The big deal here is that I’ve decided to shift my focus away from short stories. Why? Well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I write, and in particular why I write short stories. The way I see it, there are four reasons to write short stories. First, to make money. Second, to build name recognition. Third, to hone your writing. Fourth and finally, the love of the art form.

The merits of the first two can be dismissed pretty much out of hand. If you’re really in the short story business to make money, you’re an idiot, because there ain’t any. As for name recognition, it takes a lot to get there, and honestly, if you’re ultimately aiming for a market outside the bounds of the relatively small segment of the populace who read short fiction zines, good luck. Most mainstream people have never heard of Asimov’s (though they have heard of Isaac Asimov) or F&SF. Selling short fiction is extremely difficult, grueling work. This we knew coming in. But I never before really faced up to the rate of return on that investment… frankly, it’s pretty miserable.

So that leaves honing the craft and the love of the artform. As for the former, I’ve learned a lot from writing short fiction, but in some ways almost too much. As I focus more and more on selling short fiction, I’ve become obsessed with those writing commandments of which I was speaking earlier, and primarily the drive to create a tighter, 100% conflict driven story. But looking more and more at novels, and talking with Carrie the novelist about it, I’ve realized that novels don’t engage that skillset in the same manner that short stories do. And in the process of trying to write a novel (I actually did pick it up this weekend, go figure), I’ve found that the effort to make it tighter has been a hindrance more than a benefit. Point is, you can learn writing and hone writing for short fiction, but if your goal is to write longer fiction, then there comes a point at which you’ve gotten what you can get and now you need to focus on learning how to write longer fiction.

So finally, there’s the love of short fiction. Well, I still have that. But I don’t need to sell stories to celebrate them… that’s what the Story Game is all about. So in reality, I lied a little about writing a novel being my only resolution. I also resolve to follow through with the goal I set in September to write a short story every month, but I’m no longer writing those stories with the goal of publication in mind. Now I’m doing it to keep myself fresh and writing and because I enjoy it. Story Game stories will count toward that goal, but if I do happen to produce a story I think is salable, I will definitely continue to try and sell it.

So finally to the actual resolution itself: writing a novel. I used to view short fiction as my one and only true love, and novel writing as an unfortunate consequence of wanting to make a living writing and the low pay-rates for short stories. Not anymore. As I’ve developed as a writer, many of my ideas have grown, and I’ve found a short form to be a little constraining for them. So I’m going to try and grow them now into novels.

It also occurred to me that one thing that drew me to short fiction was the ability to write a ton of different stories. But thinking about novel writing, if I actually sit down and crank those suckers out, I can tell a bunch of different stories that way too. I guess I always thought that a novel would have to be a huge epic story, and I didn’t want to give up the little fun ones. Now I realize I can still write the fun ones… not every novel has to be Dune or Lord of the Rings.

Anyway, this post is growing out of control, but let me finish it by explaining why my goal is so simple, and without any of the frills of “find an agent” or “submit a partial” or whatever. The reason is that I gather very strongly that very few people’s first novel is actually something worth printing. It takes a go or two to figure the form out. I’m enlisting for that first go at it. If I’m going to succeed, I need to learn how to do what I want to do, so I might as well go ahead and set aside the time I need to do it and do it right without the pressure of trying to make it something salable.

This is year three of the Ten Year Plan. I’ve been working on selling fiction for two years now. Frankly, I think I’ve made some good strides-- many people, even those who are the biggest sellers in the world right now, didn’t make their first sales in two years, let alone pro-sales, so I feel good about that. I could also be doing better. But there’s plenty of time to go to do this thing the right way, and it’s a learning year. So let’s get out there and do it.

Poor Resolution

2007-12-28T17:56:00.000-05:00

Ah, the New Year, that time when a young man’s fancy turns to belaboring his failures and swearing to God Almighty that he’ll do better if you let him live another year. By the way, this post will be all about me and not a rant on anything entertaining, so if you don’t like that, well, I’m still relatively convinced all my readers are fictional entities and this blog amounts to me sitting on a stage in a dark room talking to myself, so I’m not too worried about it. I don’t believe in you! But in case you’re real, and don’t like it, screw you. I don’t blog for you. I blog for posterity.

First, the recap: I made three big resolutions, one that was really out of my control, and two which I could achieve (oh, and the perennial favorite of “get in shape,” which gets the perennial response of “I don’t want to talk about it.”) Needless to say, the one I had no control over was achieved. huzzah! The ones within my control, the not-so-much.

My first resolution was to make a professional-level paying sale of short fiction. This I did, when Baen’s Universe (god bless their charitable souls) bought my short story Spamdemonium in, I don’t know, Octoberish (wedged between the months of Septomething and Notquitember). I say again: huzzah! Spamdemonium will/should/might be out in the June 2k8 issue. I’ll keep you posted.

Second resolution: to write a marketable story every month. Abysmal failure. In 2007, my unbelievably crappy tally is a whopping 2 marketable stories, 3 completed stories that might some day be marketable if I ever get off my ass and edit them which is not bloody likely at the current moment, and approximately 6 jillion half-finished little bleeders that might be stories someday. Wow. Oh yeah, and something like 12 Story Game stories, ranging from short and mediocre to considerably longer and pretty-darn-good-if-I-do-say-so-myself-which-I-do-cause-ain’t-no-one-else-here-okay-this-is-seriously-getting-old-quit-it. So technically, si! on the getting a story done every month, N'ole! on the getting with the marketability up in that piece.

Third resolution: Start that dern-bern-novel you’re always not talking about. First of all, let me say, I am writing this on December 28, and I have a good mind to make it a hootenanny of a weekend and get one going. So there. Second of all, I qualify this as a technical success: I spent about a month working on background and preliminary writings for what I expected to be a stirring scifi epic for the ages, only to find that it was. When written by Roger Zelazny. Fifty years ago. Curse you, Lord of Light! But the thing is, I started it, so technically that’s success.

All in all, not too bad. Of course, then there’s my 3rd-Q resolution, reprinted below, in which I promise (threaten) to write a story every month for something like 20 months or so. So far, I am on point with that. And I think I will continue to be on point, with some modifications, which I will discuss in my follow-up post regarding my real honest New Year’s Resolutions! Ooooh!

And yes, I am pushing off the Third Commandment into the New Year. Sorry, but this seemed more amusing. To me. Now excuse me while I push out through this wailing throng of broken-hearted readers to get to the door….

Elohim reviewed!

2007-12-26T11:18:00.000-05:00

Just a quicky to note that my story in Ideomancer, "Elohim," has been reviewed (along with the rest of the issue) by The Fix Online. And it's good! Here are a few choice quotes:

"Davis skilfully brings his characters and their situation to life, such that I was compelled to keep reading to find out how it would resolve."

"morally evocative without being heavy-handed."

I likes! Check it out!

The True Meaning of Christmas, by Oxycodone

2007-12-21T13:44:00.000-05:00

The Third and Final Commandment in our on-going series will have to wait until next week, as I have just had a septoplasty/turbinectomy (nose surgery-- not to be confused with rhinoplasty, which, I am fairly certain, is a Primus Album) and am on heavy pain killers as thick blood oozes constantly out of my nostrils. Good morning, by the way. Hope you ate earlier.

So, since I’m all doped up, I figured I talk about religion and politics. There is no way this could possibly go poorly. So let’s get started, shall we?

Hey, remember the War on Christmas? Vaguely? You may recall that a couple of years back, the forces of Good and Light and Apple Pie and Virginity and Jesus and Fluffy Bunnies were under assault from a legion of demon liberal atheist Nazis who marched from town to town dressed in terrifying, non-denominational business suits, setting fire to Christmas trees and peeing on the baby Jesus in nativity scenes. This hell-horde had effectively sterilized three-quarters of America before General William “Falafel Bill” O’Reilly and Admiral John “I Support Shooting Innocent People in the Head” Gibson mounted up with Santa Claus and drove the heathen bastards back to Hollywood where they belong.

Alternatively, perhaps you recall a bunch of idiots talking about how there was a furious War on Christmas, and you don’t remember seeing or hearing anything from the actual invading forces. So odd. Well this true soldier remembers: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/12/20/roland.martin/index.html. Yes, that’s right, the Christmas Defense Force is back in business, despite, once again, the abject lack of any kind of opposition whatsoever, under the control of Rear Admiral Roland S. Martin. Mr. Martin refers, “stridently,” to the “seeming backlash against Christianity,” and demands that we take “a fuller account of WHY we celebrate Christmas.”

So what about this “backlash against Christianity?” Well, Martin (like O'Reilly before him) doesn’t actually cite to any kind of facts, but I did find this in the public record: it seems the U.S. House of Representatives just passed this House Resolution recognizing Christmas as a Christian holiday and talking about how great Christianity is and the role it’s played in our nation’s history. Would anyone like some governmental endorsement of religion with their sanctimony? In fact, I believe this is about as literally an “endorsement of religion” as you are likely to find-- the resolution specifically talks about how great Christianity is, how important it is, and how the U.S. firmly supports Christianity. No other religions get a name-drop, just the big C. For their next trick, the House will be altering the First Amendment to read “Congress shall make no law regarding the establishment of religion ; )” That’s right, folks, we are just one step away from putting emoticons into the Bill of Rights.

Let’s recall that we do, ostensibly, live in a nation that was founded by people who had to flee religious oppression in their home countries and who therefore believed that each man should be allowed to follow his personal faith without the interference of the government. A lot of Christians these days are rejecting the principle of separation of church and state. I wonder what those same people would think if the House passed a resolution recognizing the importance and value of Catholics (and only Catholics). Or Mormons (because they’re technically Christians too). I bet you the Southern Baptists would not be too pleased.

The irony is that in a way, this is precisely what M. Martin and his Christmas Defense Compatriots are promoting (generously assuming that they’re actually pursuing this for a reason other than simply getting their own name in the spotlight) when they talk about returning to the Christian roots of Christmas. Because if you really want to go back, Christmas is all about the way we look at others’ religion. Is there anyone around who really thinks Jesus was born on December 25th? I doubt it. The reason we have Christmas comes from old pagan festivals related to the winter solstice, most particularly the Roman Feast of Saturnalia. As with Halloween and All Saint’s Day, the early Church essentially imported these pagan festivals whole-sale into Christianity in hopes that it would ease the transition for the pagan masses into Christianity.

It turns out that, despite accepted dogma, up until around the Renaissance and even later, European commoners quite routinely were Christians on one hand while retaining their pagan religions with the other, and they never saw any problem with this. Thus, you might find that after church on Sunday, the local farmer would go sacrifice a goat for rain, and would never consider that this might be internally inconsistent with his faith. The early church capitalized on this, gaining converts by, essentially, not requiring them to convert very much. This is why our modern Christmas incorporates druidic tree-worship as a central part of its milieu. Thus, the early church relaxed some of its own rigid requirements to allow the assimilation of these pagan beliefs.

My point is, from the beginning, Christmas has been about embracing the beliefs of others at the expense of your own. But Mr. Martin and friends don’t like that, because, let’s be honest, they don’t like other people’s beliefs. So they make up a war that isn’t being fought and they promote resolutions like the one that’s just passed the House, and they make Christianity seem besieged, even though 80% of Americans are Christian, so that slowly the wall between church and state crumbles. And when it does, you can guarantee that folks like Mr. Martin will be waiting on the other side, ready to put irons on anyone who dares to wish them a Happy Holiday.

Commandment Numero Dos.

2007-12-15T10:04:00.000-05:00

First things first: A new six of mine is up at Six Sentences: A Wolf at the Door. In case you missed it, JED has one up there as well: Sky Lighting. Check them both out. Oh, and have I shamelessly plugged my piece on Ideomancer yet today? No? Well, there you go.

So on to the Second Commandment of Short Story Writing: Thou Shalt Hold Thy Reader’s Attention Vigorously.

So you’ve obeyed Commandment #1 (Thou Shalt Grab Thy Reader’s Attention Immediately) and have written an opening that immediately makes the reader go “wow, what happens next!” and dive into the story. Great. Now you just have to duplicate that feat for every other sentence of the story. Have fun!

Seriously, this Commandment is very closely linked to Commandment #1, in that it requires you to keep writing interesting things. There are some new considerations, however: First, the Good: You build up what I will call “interest capital” throughout the course of the story. That is to say, the more interesting, compelling, captivating material you have, the more you can afford to stray a little and still hope to maintain the reader’s attention. Don’t get me wrong, the goal here is that every last little words that digitizes from your fingertips will send chills of ecstasy down the reader’s spine all on its own. But those of us who write and those of us who read know that this really isn’t possible for even the best stories. Interest capital is what you’ve earned throughout the story that you can spend to get the reader across the filler material.

What is filler material? This is the stuff that’s in a story that isn’t serving the purpose of capturing the reader’s attention and imagination. There are two types of Filler Material: Waste Filler, which is just the junk that grows around a story like a strangling skein of ivy, and Progressive Filler, which is the stuff that isn’t terribly interesting or compelling in its own right, but is necessary for the story to advance. The two can be and often are easily confused-- sometimes, that bit of exposition where Guy Hero learns about Girl Intrigue’s past and they grow close together can seem like a critical point for establishing their relationship, but one day you realize it can be condensed to a sentence or cut out entirely and no one’s the wiser. Learning to tell the difference is a critical skill for the short story writer, because all filler material burns interest capital; to de-buzz-word that, leaders lose interest as they read filler, whether the filler be necessary or not, and if you haven’t excited them enough to make them want to slog through the boring parts, you will lose them.

I believe that to properly fulfill Commandment #2, your reader must never, never think about putting the story down. They must never find that they have been actually thinking about something else when they’re half-way down the page. In case I’ve been a little underemphatic up to this point, you should never try to get it so that, as I said earlier, the reader “slogs through the boring parts.” In reality, they need to bust through the areas that are less interesting like a fat man busting into a Krispy Creme when the Hot n’ Ready sign comes on. A large part of this, which I have difficulty with, is building a compelling plot. A large part of it is keeping the conflict up, keeping the tension rolling. A huge part of this is making sure that you keep your filler to an absolute minimum, and keeping all the waste filler out. You’ll be surprised at how little Progressive Filler you actually need by the time you’re done.

Moral of the story: the reader’s attention must not drift. If it does, the reader, especially if he is a slush reader, is going to drop your story so fast that rejections have actually been known to travel back in time and arrive before the story is sent. Build interest capital and keep it strong to bust through the filler like nothing was ever there. This is especially critical in a short story, as I am of the firm belief that interest-capital-inflation is at a premium there… a little interest buys a lot more mileage in a novel. So start ‘em off with a bang, and keep em running all the way to the end. What to do once you get there… well, that Commandment #3.

Some Updates

2007-12-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

Just a short post with some updates; just got back from vacation and have some work to catch up on before I get back to our series of commandments.

First and definitely most important: my story "Elohim" is live at Ideomancer! W00tW00t! I'm very proud of this story, so please go check it out and let me know what you think. It's an almost Southern-fiction piece about two white con-artists in a poor African-American community in the 50's. Read it, enjoy it, give me any feedback you've got, positive or negative (preferably positive). This is the first story I've had published that was over a thousand words long, so I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Second announcement: NaSto is over and I failed. Total word count: 18,985 out of 25,000 goal. D'oh. Got distracted by the sweet siren song of Mass Effect, which has an awful lot to teach us about good storytelling, as the universe contained therein is as complex as any SF novel. But that will await another time. Back to NaSto: so I failed, but I learned a lot. I did complete one full story, and got two or three others well on their way, and it taught me the value of writing every day, which I really enjoyed. I am officially incorporating NaSto values into daily life, by giving myself a monthly writing goal each month of 10,000 words. This breaks down to about 350 words a day, which really isn't too hard to do, and since I don't actually have daily word goals, should be easy to accomplish with single sessions that end up being much longer. So far, I am above target for December to date, so I am optimistic. I'll keep you posted.

Let's see, seems like their should be a third announcement.... uhmm.... did I mention the story in Ideomancer? Yes? Well, go read it again. Yeah. In the meantime, I shall return shortly, hopefully very shortly, with my continued discussion of the Three Commandments of Short Story Writing.

The Three Commandments-- Part One

2007-11-28T18:32:00.000-05:00

It’s been awhile. I am back. Good to see you again. Hope all is well with you. How’s Mom? Doing better? Glad to hear it. Let's step into the parlor, shall we?

Today, instead of discussing NaSto, which is only of interest to me, I have decided to fulfill my long-ago promise and post on the Three Commandments of Short-Story Writing, as I see them, or, if you prefer, Three Things Every Short Story Must Do. And behold, they are:

1) Thou Shalt Grab Thy Reader’s Attention Immediately

2) Thou Shalt Hold Thy Reader’s Attention Vigorously

3) Thou Shalt Deliver a Pay-Off Worthy of Thy Reader’s Time

This may seem oversimplified to some, but I guarantee you, if you have all of three of these down, you will sell. If you are missing any of these, you probably won’t. In many ways, these simple commandments are applicable to all writing, but short stories really distill them to their very essence, because, well, they’re short. You have to get to the point fast, because the reader isn’t willing to invest in a short story like they are in a longer medium (At least, this is true of the first two—the Third Commandment is probably actually more distilled in a novel, though, because so much has been invested). In this post, I’m going to focus on the First Commandment, and I’ll expound on the others in their own individual posts later.

To the extent that any of these commandments is more important than any other, the First is the most important for the short story writer, because this is where your reader is won or lost. It doesn’t matter how great the second page is, the third page is, the last page is, if your reader doesn’t make it past Page One. Or Paragraph One, for that matter. I suspect that there are an awful lot of good stories that fall through the slush cracks because they have weak openings. Don’t be one of them!

Now I’m not saying that I think every story needs to start with a gun-battle or an explosion. What it does need to do is grab the reader’s attention immediately and make him want to read the words that come next. This can be done any number of ways. Some will drop you straight into an action scene. Some will show you a brilliant and blinding aspect of their world that is so unique you have to know more. Some introduce a character you have to know more about, or will give you a hint of the ride to come, coaxing you to push onward just to see the big reveal, or how they’re going to get out of this one. All of these work. What they have in common is that they make the reader want to read more. And that’s the purpose of an intro.

For a bunch of different examples and a far better analysis than what I’ve written here, see this post by Douglas Cohen, slushmaster for Realms of Fantasy (some of these I think are great, some not, which just goes to show you subjectivity, but in general, you’ll get the point.) The ultimate point is that a short story reader is not going to say “I’ll give it a little while to see if it warms up.” A page is the best you can hope for, and a paragraph is probably the best you’re going to get. So pull out the goods early and dazzle straight off the bat.

Next time, Commandment Number Two! Now, for you NaSto word zombies (and I know you’re out there), the Update-O-Meter will be below shortly. Don’t spend it all in one place!

NaSto Update Numero Dos

2007-11-16T13:48:00.001-05:00

So we are officially half-way through NaSto and, predictably, I am behind. This situation is not being helped by the presence of Assassin’s Creed in my home (which I will discuss at length later). I also had to edit a story for Ideomancer (w00t) and edit another story that didn’t make the grade at Writer’s of the Future and send that one back out (okay, I guess I didn’t have to do that last one, but I did, and I think the story is vastly improved for it. Now hopefully it will sell). Still, I persevere onward, as noted in this updated and snazzier word count:

10,183 / 25,000
(40.7%)

So things are going well, if not superb. I hope to catch up some this weekend. I noticed last weekend, though, that I’ve been spreading my words around a lot, jumping from story to story rather than committing to a single story and powering through it. And I also noticed that I was jumping away from certain stories right at the point where the story was starting to establish itself and require an honest-to-Jesus plot.

I will admit, it worries me that I’m not very good at creating compelling conflicts, and, through extension, good plots. I’ve been trying to stare down that dragon for the last week or so, and I think I’ve made some good discoveries so far. For one, I think that one of my biggest problems is actually theme, or meaning, as in this Jim Van Pelt post. My instinct is to go for a lot of themes that are oversimplified and possibly heavy-handed, and I know enough to know that they are oversimplified and heavy-handed, and that prevents me from writing them. Then I get scared that every theme I go for is going to end up being that way, and I can’t commit to what I want the story to be. I can create a background and sow the seeds of a good story, but when it’s time to crystallize and really think about where it’s headed, I get gun-shy. One major part of this is the fear that I will waste a really good beginning on an ultimately vapid story.

I’ve been approaching this from two different angles. Number one is simply thinking about each story more during my off-time. I used to dread doing this, because a lot of writing was instinctive, and if I thought about the story too much, I’d get tired of it and wouldn’t write it. Now, I’m trying to think about the story more, and forcing it down onto the page. Nancy Fulda discusses “stealing the muse's diary;” I see this as along the same lines.

The second approach is to just muscle through it a dare to be stupid. I actually just decided on this; maybe I should just go with the dumb theme once in awhile, let it run to the end, and see what happens. I think I will. I’ll let you know as this progresses. Worst case is the story doesn’t get published, right? And if it doesn’t, then I can go back and start over, right? Might as well give ‘er a go.

In the meantime, to force myself to focus on these issues, I will no longer be allowed to work on new pieces. No more jumping. I have worked on eight pieces (not the pseudo-story I wrote for Carrie) during NaSto, and unless the muse just kidnaps me, at eight it will remain. This has already forced me to delve farther than I had previously into each story; hopefully it will force me to actually complete a couple.

A Brief Pander To Our Primary Source of Income

2007-11-13T06:45:00.000-05:00

It has come to my attention lately that this blog has been getting an awful lot of hits (by our standards), due primarily to this image:

I will admit that it seem a touch odd that our blog is actually considered by Google image search to be the place to go to see this thing, since I previously just put in a link to it on some other website (in my anti-Roger Ebert Spiel), but I figure, what the hell, might as well play to unexpected strengths. So if you’re here for Jericho, here are some links to reviews: thisun, thatun, t’other one, and a cartoon strip. I’ll sum them up for you: It sucked, except in the UK, apparently. Here are some other links you might find useful.

For those of you who actually give a hoot about writing, here’s the latest NaSto update: Still chugging along, in fits and starts. I’m a little under a thousand words behind, which means I dropped some, but am still keeping up relatively well. I’ve been writing lots of bits and pieces on multiple different stories, so I’ve decided that as of tomorrow, being halfway through NaSto, I will close the gates to new stories (unless they just strike me like divine inspiration) and only work on those stories which I have already worked on during NaSto. Hopefully, that way I’ll actually get one or two of these suckers finished.

More craft posts on the way, and in the meantime, here’s a link to Jim Van Pelt’s blog, which is full of craft posts. If you don’t know who Jim is, sucks to be you, but you shall now be edumacated. He’s one of the current leaders (in my opinion) in the speculative fiction short story field, well-published and how, nominated for a Nebula, And all around worth emulating. Because Jim is also a creative writing teacher, his craft posts usually take the form of exercises he does for his class, which I find fascinating and, at least for me, makes them stand out from the run-of-the-mill craft stuff you might fined on the intertubes.

Also, we recently had author Kurt Dinan stop by on the comments page to my horror post and discuss the motivation for his piece “Natural Remedies,” out now in Down in the Cellar, and a little about “Longtime Gone,” out in Chizine. Both are excellent stories and the posts give you a good insight into a writer's mind, as well as some great thoughts about the nature of horror generally, so check them out!

NaStoUpdate-- Week One.

2007-11-08T07:57:00.000-05:00

NaSto, up to this point, has been going relatively well. Got off to an uneven start, but then kicked into serious high gear for awhile there, which is why I haven’t posted in a little while (I know the fans are devastated.)

I fully recognize, btw, that these NaNo or Sto or Blo or whatever posts are done entirely for the benefit of the writer, not the audience, so I will not feel bad if you skip this one. You’ll still be counted as a blip on my hit-tracker, so actually, I’ll feel great about it! BUT… come back soon, because I do plan on starting a series of posts in a day or so on what I consider the Three Commandments of Short Story (and Really All Story) Writing, and that ought to be worth a good peek, and possibly some derision.

Back to NaSto. I’ve done pretty well. I’m a little behind, and right now I’m seriously dragging, but most of the behindedness is due to the fact that I dragged on Day One and skipped Day Two entirely. Most every other day I’ve been writing more than my daily goal, I just haven’t quite caught up yet. All in all, I've been pleased with the extent to which its made me just write, no matter what, and I think alot of what I have written is pretty decent, which I didn't expect.

I’ve been writing on a number of different stories. One story I have actually completed, though this was not a real, serious developed story, but more of a world-building piece I did based off of one of Carrie’s amazing ideas, intended to show her the thought it inspired in my mind. Other than that, I’ve been working on a few different pieces, a couple old, most new, and now I seem to be hitting a wall.

I’ve reached a point in each one where I’m done doing set-up and world-building, and now the plot really needs to unfold. That’s my weakness-- plot. Pretty big weakness, unfortunately. My natural tendency is to run screaming for the hills now, because plotting is hard, but instead I decided to make this post, which is both utterly procrastinatory and moderately productive, so that I could say I did something even though I didn’t.

Maybe I’ll get lucky and have a new idea for another start, but the fact remains that at some point I’m going to have to sit down and figure out what the hell these stories are about. Once I do, the juices should start flowing again, and we can get back on track. I am going to try and squeeze out some words today and tomorrow, but with work, I’m probably not going to get the serious committed thinking time till the weekend, and cursed NaSto marches on without me!

[insert continued whining here]. Okay, enough of that. I have to go to work anyway. By popular demand, I present you with-- this word meter! TA-DA!

5264 / 25000 words. 21% done!

And I promise to update it no less than once a week. So enjoy! And if anyone wants to talk plotting (or knows what happens next in a story that involved Heart, Hands, and Head drinking scotch on a porch overlooking a giant red rift with bad thoughts pouring out of it), by all means, share!

NaStoWriMo and Monthly Writing Update

2007-11-02T10:58:00.000-05:00

Monthly writing update first: Didn’t go as well as it could have. I was pleased with the stories I put out for the Game, and the surprise Halloween story (no link, just look down), if not a prize winner, was a nice little treat, but the one I wrote for publication is almost a cop-out. It’s about a page long and needs severe editing, and in reality was written as a fun piece and was only elevated to Piece-of-the-Month status when nothing else worked out for me (it's called "Old Roger," btw). Editing of Aftermath from last month was also basically at a standstill, though some occurred. Verdict: Technical Success, as I am still on the “story per month” track of the plan, and I never actually firmly tacked on an “edit a story per month” requirement. Still, a failure in spirit.

Which leads me to NaStoWriMo. As you may well know, November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), in which a bunch of totally crazy people promise to write a novel in a month and then spend the month frantically scribbling and thinking of reasons to renege. Carrie, of course, is one of those crazy people, though she will likely be sidetracked by editing that totally awesome little novel of hers so that Delacorte will put it on the Spring, rather than Summer, 09 calendar.

Every year when NaNo rolls around (okay, this is year 3), Carrie pressures me to do it. And every year I tell her that I’m not ready to take on a novel just yet. And this year I echo that, but I am still going to make an effort to get myself writing more. NaNo requires about 50,000 words in the month (not a full novel—that would be crazy). I propose to make this my own personal National Story Writing Month (thus NaStoWriMo), wherein I will write 25,000 words worth of short stories!

That amounts to about 850 words per day. So far, I’m one day in, and I’ve done 350 (but I seriously thought it was at least a thousand at the time, scout’s honor). But I’m up to the challenge. If I can actually pull this sucker off, I should be able to get ahead of schedule and devote December solely to editing, which would be useful. Story Game stories will count, by the way, but those are usually only a thousand or two each anyways.

All right, wish me luck, I’ma gonna need it. Writesylvania, here I come!

A Halloween Story

2007-10-31T18:12:00.000-05:00

I love Halloween. My first published story was "Halloween Night" in the ever wonderous Shimmer Magazine. And so I decided to give our blog readers (you know who you are! Seriously, there's like five of you. You know who you are.) a special treat: A Halloween Story! I'll move it over to the main game site tomorrow, but tonight, it's just for you, sports fans! Oh, and speaking of scary blog stories, I will also plug Silas T. Comberbache's controversial "Brian's Blood People," because it is Grade A creepy, Neil Gaiman's (among others, but who cares about them)'s audio halloween, and of course, The Story Game's many creepy Halloween favorites. Enjoy!

John Parke Davis Presents:

A Halloween Story

Five minutes before you were born, this is true now, don’t interrupt, a small group of men burst into the room to see you. You don’t remember any of this, because, as I said, you were not born at the time. The first of them was old and cold, and they all let him have a look because he was frailest. He didn’t pause, he just shook his head and shuffled to the back of the pack; I guess he knew his kind and you just didn’t fill the bill.

The next one had eyes of heather, the plant now, lavender stalks pushing their way out the sockets like they had been stuffed in from behind. He bent over your mother and rubbed her belly and I think he must have been disappointed because you kicked, just then, and you would not come.

The third man had hair of sunshine, only old sunshine, plaited together and stuck down with summer sweat. And I remember that you didn’t care much for him either, though your mother seemed happy to see him, she talked about the waves in his smile for a month afterwords but I most remember the dryness of his cracked lips. I never cared for his kind anyways.

The fourth of five came forward then, slipping by his brother. His complexion was ruddy-on-pale, his breath a clammy dew, and he passed his hand over your mother’s belly and that’s when she said you were coming. I liked that fellow, because I was autumn’s child, too.

But then you stopped. And the fourth fellow hung his head, and the third crept back a little, and the second seemed to shudder all over, and only the first showed no fear, just turned his eyes away. The fifth man stepped forward and we knew. We knew he was for you. Because his eyes were not eyes, just spaces where nothing belongs. And his hands were not hands, just darkness where the light stopped. His lips curled back he had no teeth, tongue was a frozen tear; and I prayed for the world that you would not come, but lord knows, you did, you did.

Your mother wailed. I could not move. Your mother heaved. I was paralyzed. And the fifth man knelt to wait for you. But you were a lucky one, or your mom was clever, and more talented than I ever knew. Because the afterbirth got to the air first, and it fell into one of those hands that made a hole where tomorrow goes when it becomes yesterday.

Then you came out, into the other hand. And we held our breath, as you slid around those tendrils of darkness. And the world froze. Nothing I could do. But the last man, the man who looked like falling leaves, he leapt out and caught you with one of his hands, and together the two pulled you into this world.

And so there you have it. One hand of autumn, one hand of death. And that’s why you have always been Halloween’s child, and I reckon you always will. Now put on your mask and let’s go.

FIN

Now go get you some candy!

In Which I Refuse to Get Involved in Debates To Which I Was Not Invited in the First Place

2007-10-30T11:47:00.000-05:00

Originally, I was going to post something about how I, like apparently everyone else in the absurdly Livejournal-oriented SF writing community, had recently read with interest Jeff VanderMeer’s post on the “contentedness” of modern fiction; that is, that it no longer “pushes the envelope.” I was then going to discuss my take on the state of modern short fiction, what I thought the goods and bads were, apply it to my own writing, and generally be a pretentious schmuck-hole about the medium in which I hope to make a name for myself.

But then I thought about it for a minute.

And the reality is, I don’t really care what everyone else is doing. I love to read good stories, and I love to get inspired and learn from them, but if the bulk of genre fiction being produced today degenerated to pure crap, I would still being trying to write the best stories I can write. And as long as there are writers out there doing the same thing I’m doing, and I know there are, then we’re going to be fine. If a writer believes that the envelope isn’t being pushed enough, then he should go out there and push it himself. In fact, I am going to try and do just that, personally (now whether I succeed or not is another issue). If you don’t think the envelope needs to be pushed, then keep writing the stuff you write now and be happy with it.

I don’t mean this as a dig at Mr. VanderMeer, whose work I greatly respect, nor to say that the topic should be off-limits. I just mean it as I said it: as a writer, I don’t care what everyone else is doing. I’m going to write envelope-pushing stories, and non-envelope-pushing stories, and, Editors willing (which they usually are not), both will be published some day (editorial control is, of course, another key issue which I am carefully skirting). My unasked for advice to other writers is to ask yourself not “could my work push the envelope more, in whatever fashion,” but “do I want my work to push the envelope more, in whatever fashion?” If the answer is yes, I would love to be part of a dialogue with you about how to do it. I eat that type of stuff up. If the answer is no, then keep writing what you want to write. Not everything has to be earthshattering to be enjoyable, and if you’re not enjoying the writing in some way, then it really isn’t worth the excruciating effort we have to put into it.

For the time being, I will refrain from the greater debate on the death of short fiction magazines, upon which much has been written, largely because I am completely unqualified to pass an opinion. JP, you twit! you cry. This is the internet! Being unqualified to pass an opinion is virtually a requirement for expressing one! Very well, then, I will hazard a guess. I would say short fiction isn’t flourishing because people aren’t buying it (Revelation! Let the trumpets and allelujahs resound). Why aren’t people buying it? Probably a lot of reasons, but I would wager that two of them have to do with it being easier to buy a novel or turn on the TV than buy a subscription to a magazine. Has anyone checked the sales on anthologies, especially Year’s Bests? It would be curious to know if those are taking hits, or if it's just magazines. I have no clue what this will find, but I don’t know anywhere that’s looked into it off the top of my head (though someone may have) and it seems like a good starting place to unpuzzling this mystery. Let’s approach this scientifically, people.

So to sum up: I think everyone should be fluffy-bunny flower people who write what they want to write all the time and receive instant gratification for it, I am staying out of the debate on whether our current bumper crop of short fiction sucks, and I am also staying out of the debate about why short fiction markets are failing, though with a smart-sounding but essentially vapid side comment to make myself seem like I really have all the answers. Now, for future reference, a few other debates I will be staying out of: Nature versus Nurture; The ultimate fate of Viscount Nightshade; Number of licks to reach the center of a Tootsie Pop; Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by resisting end them; and Green: the New Black?

The Horror! The Horror!

2007-10-25T06:39:00.000-05:00

So last week I promised a post about the nature of horror; I am here, now, to fulfill that promise (be still, I know you’ve all been waiting with bated breath).

Over the years of watching and loving horror, and the two years of occasionally trying to write it, I think I have gleaned a few things that may be of marginal use to writers, and now, with no provocation whatsoever, I will talk about them. Lucky you.

In my mind, there are really two separate genres hidden in what we call “horror”: True Horror, or that which in reality horrifies us, and what I call terror, which just aims to scare the beejesus out of us by eliciting a visceral reaction, frequently a startle reaction. Thus, we may not find the idea of killer sheep to be particularly horrifying, because it is stupid, but when one bursts through the barn door during a quiet moment, we’ll jump and bleet for someone to come save us.

Most run-of-the-mill horror movies fall into the latter category. Most quality written horror falls into the former. The main reason for this, I suspect, is that the first of the three main terror conventions, the Startle (i.e., “BOO!”), simply doesn’t play as well on the page as it does on the screen. Startle is the heart of terror, and it just doesn’t work as well written out.

That’s not to say we can’t choose to write terror stories, because we can. But the thing about terror stories is that they may make you jump, which everyone loves, but they rarely stick with you the way a good horror story, a True Horror story, does. Look at Edgar Allen Poe. The Raven, for example. There is never a second of danger for the main character (or any other one, because there really aren’t any other ones). You never fear for his life. His danger is entirely spiritual, and the horror, the real horror, is that he is locked in an internal prison of despair over his lost love, despair that he can never escape. The horror is that those evil feelings, the turbulent, painful feelings that come when something truly awful happens in life, will never go away. And the thing is, it’s a universal horror. Who hasn’t been in that bad place and thought “there will never be light again?” (I mean come on, most of us were teenagers at some point). That’s horror.

Another quick example, a modern one. Look over at Kurt Dinan’s piece “Longtime Gone” in the latest issue of Chizine (Go ahead, read it now. It’s a good magazine, you should be reading it anyway). I won’t spoil the whole thing, but the horror revolves around the loss of a child and the devastation it wreaks on a man’s psyche. What’s horrific here is that we can all imagine being in this place, even if we don’t have children. The character’s degeneration is realistic, his fate, unspeakable but understandable (on the other side of the point, I found the character’s final placement was not completely in line with his natural progression, that it was actually a bit of a jump, and that kind of dulled the horror for me).

Thus, once more, the Horror is that we are attacked on an emotional, personal level, not purely a physical one. Our view of our very selves is challenged. Another, similar, method is to attack the characters’ worldview (and by that I mean the readers’ worldview). Take Romero’s Night of the Living Dead. What’s left of our vision of how the universe works when the dead walk, en masse? The real horror of Romero’s vision (poorly metamorphosed over time, I’m afraid) is that the zombies are soulless. They give us the world-shattering fact of un-death without the comfortable explanation of some kind of afterlife. They are crawling nihilism. And that challenge to how we see the universe becomes a challenge to how we view ourselves within it.

The point is, horror is “scary” in a psychological and emotional way. Terror is scary in the normal, fear/panic inducing way. The twain often shall (and should) meet: see Lovecraft’s The Shadow Over Innsmouth, for example, or Stephen King’s The Raft, in both of which the horror is augmented by the terror, the fear of physical harm. But what really lasts, what makes the stories truly stand out, is the part that touches us deep, that leaves the characters’ very selves in tatters. Aim to disrupt the reader’s worldview, target their emotions, and you’ll make a story truly worthy of the title Horror.

Zombie TV!!!

2007-10-17T05:57:00.000-05:00

I know, I've been postariffic lately, but check this out: lost zombie TV drama CSI. Now, normally, I would be strongly against anything that portrays zombies as in any way thinking, but this looks like it did a really good job with it. So ask yourself: why would God and CBS deprive us of this? Write your network today!

At least George Bush recognizes the problem.

That's My Girl!!!

2007-10-16T14:37:00.000-05:00

She did it! She really did it!

From Publisher's Marketplace, today:

16 October, 2007
Children's:Young Adult
Carrie Ryan's THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH, about an isolated village generations after the zombie apocalypse where a 16-year-old struggles with the town's religious order until the village walls are breached and the only chance of survival is to escape into the forest beyond, to Krista Marino at Delacorte, in a pre-empt, in a two-book deal, by Jim McCarthy at Dystel & Goderich Literary Management.

Yes, that is my girlfriend. That's right, sir. My Girlfriend. Read all about it at her blog, here.

And since it isn't anywhere else, I will note for posterity that it was a "good" deal. For those not in the know, that means she is totally awesome. Which is dead on. She is totally awesome.

A lot of people think that publishing is luck. Maybe that's true, but not in Carrie's case. She's earned every last drop of her success, and her career will be brilliant. I just can't believe I'm lucky enough to be along for the ride.

Blog Action Day!

2007-10-15T14:25:00.000-05:00

So today is Blog Action Day, a day devoted to unifying the blogosphere on a single topic: the environment. At The Story Game, we don’t talk about issues like that too often, and we probably won’t start, being all story/writing-centric, but the environment is an issue we both feel very strongly about. Our father (yes, “our,” we really are brothers), a great man, was the editor-in-chief of one of the nation’s leading government-run wildlife publications, and he instilled in us two major passions: writing and the outdoors. We talk about writing a lot, so here’s a chance for us to talk about our other love. (by the way, we learned of this bandwagon a little late, so if this post seems a bit disoriented, it’s mainly because I am writing it at work while guardedly checking over my shoulder to make sure the overlords don’t catch on.)

The beauty of the world is in life. For me, all the magnificence of the cosmos pales in comparison to the miracle of a clump of algae clinging to the leeward side of a rock in a stream. I think a lot of us on the environmentalist side share this viewpoint, and we beat our heads against the wall to see others who don’t. We think, “why is it that no one else sees things this way?”

But here’s the secret: Most people do. Most people put value in nature. Many industries are finding that people, a lot of people, will actually pay a premium for environmental benefit, even when that benefit is non-obvious. Most people want to do right by the environment. But they don’t know how, or it’s too easy not to, or hasn’t really been made relevant in their lives. Look at the success we’ve had with recycling: everyone recycles. In the US at least, it’s gotten to the point where recycling is such a success that few people even think of it anymore—it’s part of the background. Other things work the same way: phasing out incandescent lightbulbs, switching to reusable canvas grocery bags. I’ve heard the most unlikely people (conservatives, no less. Average, man-on-the-street conservatives!) tell me about the benefits unplugging your phone charger when you’re done with it. These things actually do make a huge difference, and they’re things people will do, all people will do, if the environment is right.

The enemy of the environmentalist is inertia. Why don’t people use canvas grocery bags? Because they’re weird, and the plastic bags is normal. But put it on Oprah (they have) and suddenly canvas bags start spreading the nation. Anti-environmental groups/industries prey on this by creating the image that environmentalism is for wackos and fringe freaks, and everything’s fine on the normal. And environmental groups help them, by being wacky, condescending, and freakish.

So here’s my proposal: you don’t have to stop showering and start eating tofu to be an environmentalist. You don’t have to change your life totally to love the environment. Let’s all just start with one little thing. There are a ton to choose from. I’ll choose one, you choose one, and let’s make it a pact to do it from now on, and to mention it to the people around us—but let’s say it in a “hey, did you know?” type of way, not a preachy “why aren’t you doing this” type of way. Go Green, it rocks! Or something not as dorky.

So here’s mine: I’m adopting the thermostat rule. From now on, I’m turning my thermostat three degrees down in winter, three up in summer. And I’m a guy who likes his comfortable temperatures. But is that hard? Hell no; why shouldn’t we do it? And next year, we’ll pick a new one. And then another. And then another. And so in small ways, we’ll change the world. So that’s my goal, what’s yours?

Oh, and buy a Solio. Why? Well, a) they’re really freakin’ awesome, and b) because my friend friend Mike left the Orange County DLC to join this company, and if he thinks it's better than the OC, it must rock. So do it. I will. And a merry Blog Action Day to all! Blog bless us, every one!

Breaking News!

2007-10-09T20:39:00.000-05:00

First things first: Big News. I made my first SFWA-qualifying pro-sale to Baen’s Universe!!! What does this mean? Essentially, in order to be SFWA-qualifying, the sale has to be at the professional pay-grade (5 cents per word) or higher and the market has to be an established and respected one in continuous operation for at least a year. SFWA may be rocked by controversy (which I might post on at some point when I have a clue what I’m talking about), but I think its standards are still industry standards for when one can consider oneself to be a professional level speculative fiction writer. 1/3 of the way there, baby!

Brief plug: Baen’s Universe, which I’ve discussed before, routinely publishes fiction from all the best authors in the field, but they’ve still gone out of their way to open up to new authors, reserving two to three slots an issue for those who have yet to break onto the pro scene. In all honesty, whether it's reasonable or not, it can be incredibly difficult to make a pro-sale if you don’t have one already. Baen’s has really made an effort to overcome this, and I am now eternally in their debt. I recommend that everyone go buy a subscription-- you won’t be disappointed. My piece, “Spamdemonium” will be out (tentatively) in the June ’08 edition. Have no fear, you will be informed repeatedly up until you have no choice but to get the issue just to quiet the incessant voices in your own skull. Also, I will use voodoo.

And a short update on the New Plan. It came down to the wire (no surprises there), but I have been successful: One story completed for the month of September (on the 30th, to be exact). The tentative title is “Aftermath,” but that will almost certainly change as it in no way encapsulates the finished (rough-finished) product. I now throw myself to the editing gods (not to be confused with the cruel and uncaring slush god), and plead that in their mercy they somehow make this crap sellable.

So that’s the update. Actual substantive post to follow soon, where I will attempt to reveal the secrets of horror, which I do not know. It promises to be an intellectual treatise exploring the depths of the human psyche and what drives us to seek out that which we fear the most. But in reality I will probably just talk about zombies.

Roger Ebert is A Pompous Gasbag

2007-09-12T20:55:00.000-05:00

Not that this is in any way news. Still, I feel the need to chime in and reiterate.

In case you don’t follow the world of video game politics, Roger Ebert recently recanted his previous assertion that video games cannot be art (okay, it wasn’t that recent--N'gai Croal id an excellent rebuttal here-- but I am slow to anger). Instead, Ebert has now declared that video games can be art, but may not be “High Art.” Go, check this out now. Please scan the article in detail. No, look closer. See if you can actually find a definition, or even a vague attempt at it, of “high art” anywhere in there. No? Me neither.

Still, I look forward to the next step of this debate, where Ebert declares that games can, in fact, be high art, but cannot be “Eb-art,” a special category of art which automatically makes anyone who enjoys it a spiritually superior being and which is defined solely by the quality of being something that Roger Ebert likes. Ebert’s sole points against video games as High Art seems to be a) video games are entertaining (the true mark of all Low Art) and b) the user can affect the outcome. Ebert also points out that “the vast majority” of games involve point-and-shoot gameplay or scavenger hunts, but this is like saying movies cannot be art because the vast majority of them involve explosions and Colin Farrell. Are we really judging the entirety by the vast majority?

So let’s put aside point a), because clearly you would have to be a blithering imbecile in order to actually agree with Ebert on that one (no, I have no problems with using ad hominem attacks. I firmly believe that we need not put forth a full intellectual refutation of an idea when it is on its face retarded). Let’s look at point b), the idea that art requires the consumer to sit passively and consume as art is shoved down their unwilling throats.

Refutation #1: Not all video games give the user that degree of control. In fact, I dare say the number that do hovers somewhere around “none.” With varying degrees of flexibility, video games tend to shepherd the player through the story, giving the illusion of freedom while simultaneously pushing them from one cut-scene to the next towards an inevitable and inexorable conclusion. In fact, the “illusion of free will” concept is one of the greatest artistic statements I have seen games make, and they hammer it home in a manner that is utterly unmatched, and I believe cannot be matched, by any other medium. One recent video game in particular, which I will not name to avoid giving the ending away, really illustrated this for me when the twist in the story came, showing that I, the player, had completely and one hundred percent gone along with the game’s pre-planned destiny while believing that I was actually acting on my own free will. Anyways, long story short, the idea that video games by necessity actually involve user-affected outcome is simply false, so there goes that.

Refutation #2: All art is open to interpretation, right? Surely, if there is anything that defines “High Art” it is this. Each watcher brings in his subjective experience, interfaces with the art work, then takes away something different. Now I think this is true of all art, but even more so, not everything is as straight up as Romeo and Juliet. A Pollock painting, for example, or a Chopin composition, for example. What about interactive theater, like Hedwig and the Angry Inch? Isn’t all art interactive on some level? What about the artistic statements that can be made, in the manner discussed above, about our control of our own destiny? Surely nothing conveys these ideas better than allowing the viewer to actually do so, to actually see the fruits of his personal decisions. Thus, in the Knights of the Old Republic games, if we choose to act evilly, we see in detail the way good people around us are corrupted by our acts, the way it makes some warp their ideals to justify it, the way others break under the pressure. One character, for example is a reformed murderer. Your choice of actions can lead him to redeem himself or to relapse back into his old persona, and neither route is pretty or uncomplicated. Is that not an artistic statement?

Now granted, Ebert’s sparring partner here is Clive Barker, which is kind of like the value of beef as a gourmet food being championed by the Hamburglar, so maybe Ebert wasn’t on his A-game in that post. Still, what it all comes down to is this: the only thing that really defines “video games” as a whole, other than the fact that they occur on an electronic medium, is user interactivity. Can lack of user interactivity be what defines “high art,” whatever that is? If not, then how can you say that video games cannot be art? Then again, when you’re a pompous mongoloid attention-whore, it makes it that much easier.

Strategy Session

2007-09-07T06:08:00.000-05:00

First, I have an important announcement: I made another sale, this time of a story over 1000 words (a first!) to Ideomancer! Ideomancer is truly a great market, and I’m thrilled. It follows closely on the heels of my flashquake sale (up now!), breaking a loooooong drought between this and my first sale, to Shimmer, nigh one year and some change ago.

Anyways, you’re probably all wondering why I’ve asked you here today. Yes, it is a momentous occasion. For I am officially adopting a New Strategery towards writing. I’m sure you all remember my former strategery:

- Stories write themselves
- Editors clamor for them by miracle
- Fame and Fortune

Shockingly, this has not been working out for me. Inspired by my wonderful GF’s devotion to her craft and astonishing success (she won’t tell you due to modesty/superstition, but her book, which is on it’s first round seeking agents, is doing really well-- so far about 50% of the total number queried have asked for more, the majority are fulls, and there are still a good number she hasn’t even heard from yet, all of which is good,), I have decided to take a new tact. So here’s the sweet-n-lowdown-- but first, even more boring prefatory material:

I would like to write a book. Really I would. But I love short stories the most, and I would like to try and sell a bundle of them, at least enough to qualify for membership with the uber 133t SFWA, which you may or may not know zealously maintains the purity of its ranks (and has been known to shoot fan-fic writers on sight). Right now, I have six stories in circulation, not counting the one which just sold, and a good-enough number of those (three, being liberal) have garnered second looks by pro-zines. Based on that, I figure to have a decent chance at breaking into the pro-market, I need at least 20 more stories out there. So I am going to write them.

Here’s the plan: throughout the next year, while Brotherman JED is off in the wilds of Antartevrestaharadelfuego hand-picking only the ripest new stories for your consumption, I will be spinning some of my own stories here. One story each month, every month, until the end of next year. Each story will be furiously edited until it is ready to be sent out, and my natural all-consuming lust for attention will not force me to send it out early. Thus, I will not send out a story until at least the second month after its completion. That’s November for the first one.

You will help me. To you, I will be accountable (this will work better if you actually exist, so please inform me sometime). Each month I will post here the title of the story I’ve finished and the story that I’m editing. Can’t really do more, because I may decide on, say Sept. 29th that the story I’m working on isn’t doing it for me and start something new, which is okay so long as I actually finish something by Oct. 1st. If I fail, and if someone actually exists to enforce it, I will undergo some ridiculous punishment, Green Bros. style, generated by user-suggestion. Deal? Deal. Let the Writening BEGIN!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled random babbling that you are actually interested in.

On Selling, and Why We Do What We Do

2007-08-18T12:46:00.000-05:00

This has been a good week for me, writing-wise. I broke a long writing-drought, had a piece accepted by Six Sentences, a very cool website you should totally check out, and, just this very morning, sold a flash fiction piece to flashquake, another very cool website you should check out which specializes in high-quality literary flash fiction. Not only that, but my story will be an Editor's Pick for the Fall Issue! As I have commented previously on this development, w00t.

The flashquake sale is officially my second paying sale (the first being to Shimmer Magazine, published last Autumn). I am now officially a two-hit wonder, and it feels good. But as exciting as these small victories are to me, my wonderous, glorious, beautiful uber-talented girlfriend is way ahead of the game: read all about it on her blog. The long and short of it is that she's written a truly phenomenal novel, has just barely barely started finished it and started submitting it to agents (seriously-- she sent the first wave out yesterday) and has already received two very positive responses. She's going to be beating off the offers with a stick, I just know it (just like I know that sounds dirty). And lord knows, she deserves it... the book is fantastic, creative, and well-written. I can't wait to see it on shelves. Oh, and a little shout out to her mysterious helper... above and beyond the call of duty. Above and beyond. Muchos gracias, senorita, from all of us here in the Carrie fan-club!

So anyways, in this brief time of feast, this a temporary respite from famine, it seems appropriate to reflect on why we do this thing. No, not The Story Game; we do that because we're narcissists. Writing. In general. Alot of people think it's easy. For some people, it probably is. But for me at least, and I think JED is the same way, it isn't. It's actually quite difficult. Pulling-teeth-with-fingernail-clippers difficult. It ain't about the bling, neither. If you're waiting to get rich off the short story market, particularly the give-it-away-for-free-on-the-internet short story market, you might as well be waiting to get rich off of your growing collection of belly-button lint (mine is coming along nicely, thanks). Ain't happenin.

So why do we write? I can't speak for JED, but for me, like many writers, I write because I can't stop. And because I love it. And because it's such an integral part of my identity that aside from video games, law factoids, and crabbiness, I don't know what would be left of me without it. I am dreams. Some of my dreams are silly. Some of them are stupid. Some of them are heinously embarassing. And I like to think that some of them are good. All of them are weird. But whatever they are, they're what's going on inside my head, basically all the time, and I love them so much I want to share them with everyone. Even the dumb ones, unfortunately for you.

Now I would be a complete liar if I told you I didn't want to make some money off my writing and that I didn't like seeing my name in print. I love both of those things (especially the latter. See narcissism, supra). And I would be lying if I told you that writing isn't the absolute most painful thing in the world, or that I don't come to hate every last thing I write at some point in its existence (fortunately, I usually come back to loving it again... usually). But the flat out reality is that for me, the world is grey if it doesn't have spaceships and goblins in it, talking cats and moral conundrums that present themselves in physical form. I like my world with those colors, and I want to paint them for you, too. I hope you'll give me the chance.

So that's what motivates me. And that's why I want to sell. And why I love The Story Game. Successes like this week's show us that we aren't alone, that other people care about our dreams, too, and that just makes me want to dream even harder.

Now what motivates you?

Aft gang awry

2007-07-30T20:19:00.000-05:00

Take my word for it, sometimes it just doesn't work out. For whatever reason, maybe a multiplicity of reasons, some hidden, some obvious to the embarrassingly naked eye, a pitch just doesn't gel with the writer. Maybe you can't make a coherent idea out of "goober grape" or maybe you get stuck imagining quasi-invisible break-dancing goblins, and can't clear that dross from the path of a better story. The question is, what do you do about it when you can't get a good idea?

Some people will tell you that you should just go right ahead, and write something down, even if it's utter crap, just to have it on paper. Maybe it sucks but at least you'll have bulldozed that road block from your sight, freeing you to move on to bigger and better things. Plus you may have learned something useful in the process; maybe it's good to give some thought to the biomechanics of "popping and locking" in a pint-sized fairy creature - never know when that could come in handy, after all. Normally, I count myself solidly in this camp. But not today.

See today, JP and I realized that our last pitch, "Modern Gothic" just wasn't doing it for either of us. Hard to say why exactly, and maybe that's worth exploring more. For me, I just couldn't really find an idea that inspired. I started to write something about a young Asian photography student photographing a cathedral and talking to a schizophrenic man who sees the ghosts of things that aren't dead (like a persons past, or people who've stood and daydreamed about the place), but I just couldn't get a coherent line on it. It kept wavering and flapping like heat lines on the highway or a butterfly in a hailstorm. The story wanted to be something else maybe, or maybe I felt like it should have more to do with the "goth" movement, or it was a still life without a plot line. A bit of all that, but in the end it just didn't float my boat.

And usually, that would be tough for me, because my writing partner would turn in something fantastic and unexpectedly angled and surprisingly beautiful and I'd be guilt ridden to the point of pushing on. But that did not happen this time. Apparently JP was in the same boat. Locked in motionless plateau of writing from which no escape route was visible. And probably we were also busy with regular, everyday life and all it's sublunary concerns too. Anyway, it just didn't click. So we tossed it in the dumpster and substituted something else in it's place. Hopefully this new pitch will throw a more accessible line of thought our way. At least that's the theory. And if not, this time at least we'll have to rely on each other to push on through to the other side.

So the moral of this post, in my opinion is that sometimes it helps to have a buddy. Not just to push you to do your best and help you when you've fallen over, but also to say "dude, let's try something else" and make you feel not quite as sorry-ass for having given up. But what do you guys think? Should a writer write, always? Or should you sort the wheat from the proverbial chaff?

On Waiting, And A Few More Links

2007-06-06T06:32:00.000-05:00

I am, by nature, a procrastinator, and that is why I have not written this post until today, as well as why I am writing it today rather than writing actual writing. While I really do have faith in the quality of my output, the quantity is shamefully low. With the exception of the amazing amount of stories we've produced for The Story Game, I have produced approximately seven marketable short stories in the last year and a half. Of those, nearly all have received favorable receptions from at least one market, but not a single one has sold.

So that takes me to the point of the post: Waiting. I’m awful at it. God awful. I have this list I’ve compiled of every story and each market it’s at and the expected time of response, and the next market to send it to, which all seems like a fantastic idea in theory, but it turns out that triangulating the exact dates you can expect a story to arrive is the worst possible thing you can do to yourself. I now spend a good half-hour a day frantically alternating between checking the list, Subbing the Blackhole, and my email account like some kind of cracked-out internet news junkie waiting for CNN to post Anna Nicole’s baby-daddy. As though somehow, magically, those numbers on the list will roll forward and, through a voodoo science not fully understood by men, force the editor of InterGalactic Medicine Show to pick my story from the pile of cast-asides and draw a smiley face on it.

This has yet to happen. Voodoo troubleshooting is in progress.

So waiting sucks, and it sucks even worse when you only have a few stories to circulate-- each one feels like the one that’s finally going to break through at any second and start a landslide. I know, I know, stop thinking about it and start writing more instead of waiting around, I’m well aware of the good habits I need to be establishing, etc., but doing so is easier said than done. Especially when you’re a procrastinator. So other than the chastisement, anyone have ideas about how to pass those long, dark hours huddled in a corner of your gmail account, eating nothing but spam and waiting for the Inbox to say (1)?

In other news, C has now finished her current WIP, which, I may say with complete ingenuousness, is not about unicorns (not that there's anything wrong with unicorns). Oh, and it’s literary. Oh, and it’s totally freakin’ awesome. We are in the beta reading phase, and I can’t wait for it to be ready to ship off-- the girl’s got mega-talent, and I know it’ll sell. I’m going to go read more of it right now.

Finally, a few awesome short-fiction critique sites to add to the collection of important links:

IROSF (Internet Review Of Science Fiction)- You have to get an account for this one, but at the moment, it’s free. Not always published on time, but well worth it when it comes. Most of this little newsletter-style ‘zine is chock full of industry news, analysis, and book reviews, but you’ll also find a good deal of writing advice and, the main attraction as far as I’m concerned, short fiction reviews by Nebula award-nominee Lois Tilton. In my opinion, these are the best short fiction reviews on the net, no offense to the other sites, though I will say that her review of one Halloween Night in a recent issue of Shimmer was embarrassingly brief

Tangent Online- Tangent is basically nothing but short fiction reviews. The best thing about Tangent is that they review absolutely everything that comes out in the Spec genres. They may be a little lenient sometimes, but that’s okay-- some of us need the help.

Why does Spider-Man 3 suck so very, very much?

2007-05-18T15:32:00.000-05:00

First off let me say unequivocally that, yes, Spider-Man 3 does suck. It sucks mightily. It sucks harder than a Hoover. It sucks like a very expensive...never mind. I don't care if you're a fan boy, I don't care if you actually like comic book movies. If you can't see how horrible this movie is then you're obviously living inside a schizophrenic delusion, and more power to you. It's bad. And the reason it's bad boils down to one simple thing:

Writing.

The writing is god-awful.

To be even more specific, it isn't the dialog or the setting or the themes, it's simply the plot. Or lack thereof (yes there are cinematic and directorial issues too, aplenty, but I think the movie could have survived those, assuming that it had a halfway decent plotline - which it doesn't).

I will now proceed to point out specific instances of bad plotting in this movie, for illustrative purposes only. If you don't want to know what happens, and are actually waiting to shell out money for this travesty, by all means don't read what follows.

1) Deus ex machina madness
- Symbiote from beyond the moon: This thing comes flying out of space, for no reason at all, and it just happens to land by the one superpowered guy in the whole world? Just accidentally? Seriously, there is such a thing as too much serendipity. Even the original comic book had a better explanation, and that was basically that it was a gift from a god. Who liked to fight.

- Sandman creation: Whoops, I slipped on a fence and now I have superpowers. Who just leaves a particle accelerator sitting around in New Jersey? And what the hell were they trying to do with all that sand anyway? They weren't teleporting it, they weren't disintegrating it...apparently they were just trying to make a next generation concrete mixer.

- Harry's amnesia: Now I love daytime soaps as much as the next straight man, but geek-boy please. Amnesia? Bump on the head and I convieniantly forgot everything up to the point where I want to kill my best friend. And remember, it's not like Harry was exactly a friendly happy guy before hand. Plus, shouldn't he think he's still boinking Mary Jane? Hmmm?

- Post Hoc Butlery: This is the least excusable thing in the whole damn movie. You had to come up with a crappy way for a homicidal maniac to turn into a heroic do-gooder at the last moment, so you just put in a butler who apparently witnessed the aftermath of the fight between the original Goblin and Spidey? Apparently this previously non-existant butler was also a CSI with experience in self-inflicted glider wounds, and a side degree in the psychology of self-destructive nutballs. Two words - BULL. SHIT.

2) Melodrama isn't just a river in Egypt and neither is cliche
- Cry me a river: Is there any major character in this movie who isn't inordinately lacrimose (I always wanted to use lacrimose in a sentence)? Freakin' waterworks in here. As if that's the only way to express angst, sadness or generally emotion. I have no problem with tears but this is enough saline to hydrate an entire hospital ward.

- Real pals jump in front of spikes for each other: Is there any more cliched way to show redemption? "I'd take a contrived plot point for you, man!" And he gets impaled and dies by his own glider too; hoisted by his own retard you could say. If you were a dork, I mean.

3) Character development what now?
- Mary Jane is a whiny idiot: No other way to say that. I understand that they were trying to make her sympathetic and Spidey selfish, which would have been totally true, and totally cool if handled even remotely well. But it wasn't. She doesn't tell him that she was fired, from headlining a BROADWAY SHOW, for like what? 3 months or something? And THEN she gets pissed when he doesn't know. Not only that, she ignores him when he's actually being insensitive, but then gets pissed when he tries to commiserate over the cost of fame. Total disservice to her character.

- Spidey good/bad/good: You can actually figure this out from the opening credits. And they're only made from CGI webbing. Honestly. No rhyme nor reason required.

- Eddie Brock the psycho killer: We meet this guy, who is basically a self-involved jerk, but doesn't exactly seem evil. Then for no real reason he decides to kill Peter Parker, which he then happens to pray about, in the same church where Peter Parker drops the symbiote. Ug. He doesn't have anywhere near the kind of pathos or angst or genuine evil to make him a convincing, or hated, bad guy. He's just tossed in at the last minute to satisfy fan boys and CGI nuts.

- Sandman's daughter: Okay, so he's not really a bad guy - I get that. But why, oh why, does a man made of sand need to kick open a bank vault or an armored truck? Couldn't he just, I don't know, turn into sand and go through the air duct then get out with the loot the same way? Spidey can't stop what he doesn't know is happening. Plus, and this really chafes my hide, what the hell happened with his daughter? They just leave that thread hanging! And for my money, I bet that even if there is a sequel, which I hope to god there won't be, they never answer that question.

Alright, so that's my rant. Now I turn it over to you - agree or disagree? And more to the point I'd love to hear some writers make suggestions about how this horrific plot could be mended. If it was up to you, what would you have done? How could this have been better written?

Cross-Post: You say you want evolution?

2007-05-17T21:36:00.000-05:00

Cross-posted from The Story Game.:

Okay, first a confession: we try to remain at least a week ahead of the website, so that we have plenty of time to be sure we get something up. That means that no, we are not writing A Continuity of Crows this week; we wrote it last week, and we're already working on the pitch for the next cycle. If that ruins our mystique, then someone let me know and I will take down this post and deny it ever existed. I am a whore to my audience.

So, the point of that little revelation is that since we're just getting back on track from a hiatus, we didn't have a previous week's story to post this time. What we did was we reached back in time (because we can do that) and grabbed a story from the distant time before we started the website, and used that to sub-in while we got back on our feet. And I hate to say it, but the age shows a little.

And that's what I'd like to talk about a little: progression as a writer. When I was in fifth grade writing my first novel (it got to chapter 3 and probably remains the longest thing I've ever written. There was a guy with a sword and everything.) I thought I had truly mastered the profession. I was at the very peak of my game, riding the rocket to stardom. Unfortunately, it was all derailed when my new braces and glasses forever ruined my ability to pose for an author photo.

Throughout high school, I thought I was good, and in college, in a creative writing class, and even to this very day, I'm proud of my work. But every time I go back and read old work, I suddenly see all the flaws and absences in it that just passed me by when I was writing it. It all seems immature compared to what I'm writing now. And in six months when I look at that, it'll seem juvenile too.

I think that's one of the neatest parts about being a writer: seeing what you can come up with down the road. Constantly trying to top yourself. The downside is realizing that what once seemed to be the be-all peak of awesome actually isn't that good at all. And that's the upside of being a reader of current literature. You get to watch other writers go through the development process. It's so cool to know that this year, Neil Gaiman will write a short story that will blow away the one I read last year, and make me remember again why I love spec-fic. And the same with this here JED guy. It's awesome seeing what he's going to come up with next, what direction he's going to take his world-building in, what new meta-level he will slip onto in the newest story.

Which brings me to my final point: today, you get to see that process in direct motion, as JED is also posting his long-awaited last edition of History of the Citadel, and it's well worth reading. I hope you'll all be able to follow what happens-- the trick is to remember that this is based off of an actual round of a game. Keep that in mind, and I think you'll see, it's pretty cool.

Speculative Fiction Writing Resources. Wholesale.

2007-05-08T21:22:00.000-05:00

RESOURCES! GETCHYA RESOURCES HERE!

For my part of this blog, I want to document my eternal struggle to go from absolute nobody wannabe* to the fabled echelon of Published Authors. As part of that struggle, I’ve found information can sometimes be surprisingly difficult to locate. It’s definitely out there, if you know where to look, but the trick is knowing where to look. So I figured I’d compile all the sites that I’ve found useful right here, and hopefully some other budding author will come along some day and have everything in one easy-to-use place. So with no further ado, my favorite writing resources on the web, and what they taught me:

1) Mary Soon Lee’s Writing Speculative Fiction Page. This is without a doubt the best, easiest to use site that I’ve found in terms of the nuts and bolts of submitting a story to a market. I learned how to put things in manuscript format from here, how to write a cover letter, and how to do all sorts of other good junk. Sometime soon, I’d like to reproduce this type of thing on one of our sites, just because the more pages that are out there, the easier the information is to find, but until then, go straight to Mary Soon Lee for all your submitting needs.

2) Speculations: The best on-line community I’ve found for SpecFic writers actually trying to get published. I highly recommend the Rejection/Acceptance Log to keep up to date on what's happening with other authors, and many, if not most, markets post their news on Speculations. If they don’t do so personally, generally someone finds out what's going on and posts it anyway. Plus, you can post any technical questions you might have, you can talk about theory, you can debate meaningless propositions until the entire community grows sick of you [not recommended], and, for a small fee, the site-lord, Kent Brewster, will send you a fantastic monthly newsletter with all the market news you could possibly dream of. If you want to be published in a speculative genre, you should already be there. Go now.

3) Ralan’s Webstravaganza: The definitive source for market information (i.e., what they are, what they pay, how to submit) in easy-to-navigate format. Study it well; you will use it often.

4) Submitting to the Black Hole: This site, run by the same folks who do Critters (see below) is your one-stop-shop for collected response times. I’m the type of person who checks for a response before he even sends a piece in (it's speculative fiction, you never know where psychic phenomena will pop up). This site will give you a realistic estimate of when you can expect to hear from any given market. It’s saved me a lot of fingernail biting (okay, some fingernail biting). Oh, and report your response times there, too! I command it! Every report helps us all!

5) Critters: I don’t use Critters anymore because I’m lazy, my production level is super-low, and I have very limited free time as is (if it weren’t for procrastination, I wouldn’t be writing this right now). BUT, Critters is without a doubt the most useful on-line workshop I know of. I’ll write about what I’ve learned from workshopping later, but for now, let me just say, it will help you increase the quality of your writing enormously.

6) Baen’s Bar Slush Conference: (Note: requires membership to access, but it's free) I have a love/hate relationship with the Baen’s Universe Slush Conference. I love it because you can go there, post a story, and in two days, have at least a few good critiques waiting for you. Plus, you get the chance, however small, of getting a story passed up to the editors of Jim Baen’s Universe, a major pro-level 'zine! Now that’s a bonus! The downside is that some of the crits can be both harsh and insubstantial (harsh is okay, but not when it doesn’t tell you anything), and most of the people who hang out there are interested in JBU-style fiction, which is to say, fun and action oriented. Most of my stuff doesn’t fall into that category, so I get a lot of comments like “I guess it was good. If you like social criticism. Booooring.” Still, it’s incredibly nice of the JBU staffers to let us use the web-board for our own diabolical interests and not just submitting to their slush, so take advantage of it!

There are a lot of other good sites out there, and I’ll try to post them as I go along. I’ll also list each of these in the links section, and keep a prominent link to this post, so it’ll always be available, assuming people find it useful.

These are my favorite sites-- what are yours?

_________________
*Technically, I have been published, twice: once in the AutuImn 2006 Shimmer Magazine, and again in The Drabbler #7, though that last one was basically 4theLuv. Still, I consider this enough to officially raise my status in the publishing world from ‘wannabe’ to ‘base amateur.’

Cross-Post: Story Game Renaissance

2007-05-05T11:32:00.000-05:00

Cross-posted from The Story Game.:

Like a phoenix rising from its ashes and then texting all its friends, The Story Game is Back, It's Bad, and It's now got it's own parallel blog. We're back on course, lads 'n lassies, and now we're better than ever.

JED and I have reached a compromise between my mercenary vision of actually doing this writing stuff for some variety of compensation, and his charitable urges to ensure the poorest among us have access to medium quality speculative fiction at the drop of an URL. And we think you're going to like it.

So here's the new deal: We will be pitching as usual, but instead of every week, we will now be posting stories every other week, starting next weekend. At turn-in time ("catch time" if you will), we will each have to present a story, as usual. BUT, if one of us (let's face it: me) wants to keep the story and try to market it or something, we can, ON THE CONDITION that we replace it with another story of equal or lesser value and come here with hat in hand to explain to you, the reader, the reasons for our misdeeds. Also, JED has to finish his damn History of the Citadels pitch, because I dug those.

Simultaneously, we are revamping our old comments website (which no one was too thrilled about anyway) to be our NEW, IMPROVED (somehow) BLOG!!!! Now this won't be your normal ranty how-was-my-day blog, no sir. Instead, we'll try to focus more on posts about the craft of writing, writing reviews and criticism (I totally just made that part up off the top of my head), cool sources of writing info, and, occasionally, your normal ranty how-was-my-day blog stuff. We'll also cross-post these front-page blurbs from the main site, so that you, our 3-6 loyal readers (hi Mom!) can join in the conversatin'. We still haven't decided how often to update the blog (mainly because JED doesn't know we have one yet), but right now, we're shooting for a minimum of every other week, alternating with the release of stories on the main site. And of course, we will be posting there just any ole time we have something to say, as well.

So what does all this babble mean to you, the reader? It means you will get a bare-ass minimum of two (2) stories every two (2) weeks, which ain't bad. Most of these will be on the weekly pitch, but occasionally, you'll get a wild card to really vary things up. In the meantime, you'll get quality lit-crit, theory, reviews and ramblings from your favorite authors (us) over at our BLOG, where you can join in the coversation any time you please. All of this, PLUS you get the bonus story "History of the Citadel, Part 2" by JED, coming soon! Look for the next pitch "Looking Out the Window" to be posted next weekend, and the first blog post (which is really just an introduction) and the cross-post of these very words are up for comment on the blog right now! Go check it out!

What's The Story With These Guys?

2007-05-05T09:28:00.000-05:00

So we have a blog now. Well, we sort of had one before, but we weren't using it as a blog. Not really. Instead, it was the repository for comments on our stories, which we post every two weeks on our website. Only that didn't really go so well, so now it's blog. Ta-daaa!!!!

So here's our story: we're two brothers, a nation apart (I live in Charlotte, NC, and brother JED lives in Seattle, WA) with a passion for the writing and a charitable urge to give it away with as little editing and as many typos as possible. I'm a mildly, mildly published SpecFic author, with aspirations of turning into a moderately published one. My secret identity is that of an attorney, mostly a criminal defense attorney (I represent people what done got arrested), working at a firm that gives Boston Legal a run for its money. JED, on the other hand, is a post-doc with a PhD in... well, something complicated. Let's just call it "Animal Behavior." In a few short months, JED will be traveling to Scotland, then spending 7 months in exile on the Tibetan plateau during winter. Yes, that's right, the Tibetan plateau, where he will learn to drink yak butter, run from killer mastiffs, make love to large rocks, and fight crime dressed as a giant bat. But I'll let him explain all that. Except for the rocks part... that bears no explanation.

The real purpose of this blog, and its parent website, The Story Game, is to keep us writing. We have about 100 stories up on The Story Game website, and I encourage you to go read them. They're short, they're generally punchy, and very few of them, proportionately, suck. These aren't rejects, either-- all were written specifically for the Game. And we'll keep writing 'em, too, two stories (one from each of us) every two weeks. If that doesn't make you go w00t!, I don't know what will. Probably something that doesn't involve stories.

So here's my scheme for this blog, totally unapproved by JED as of now: We've been posting interesting things on the front page of our main website, but no one could ever talk back. So now we'll cross-post them here! What's more, we'll have some special posts on the craft of writing that hopefully will stir some conversation, and I foresee a high likelihood of vitriolic ranting in our future as well. So if you like stories, writing, or ranting (and who doesn't?), stay tuned, we've got plenty of all three on the way!

Oh, and by the way, we'll leave all the old stuff, our comments on our stories from the main site, kicking around here as well, so if you find an old post that doesn't make any sense, follow the link back to the story, read it, and all will come together, as if by magic. Enjoy!

JED's Immigrant

2006-09-17T18:27:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Immigrant - JED

So let me explain a little about what happened here. I liked my last story so much that I thought it would be fun to continue in that world. I figured I could open it out a little more, drop in on the life of an interesting character and see the setting through their eyes. I chose Einstein immigrating to Africa, thinking to myself "Wow, that'll be an interesting juxtaposition of old world genius and 3rd world potential! It'll give me a chance to tell an interesting tale, showing how things could have gone differently, and exploring the underlying similarity of humanity!" Meh. Turns out, not so much.

I do not like this story. It's boring. It's overly reflective. Nothing, and I mean nothing, happens. This is a trap that I find myself falling into more and more often. I end up being drawn into a world, and dawdling in its philosophical side, while forgetting that any good story (even a bad story) should have a plot. And so I try to tack one on at the last minute, but it doesn't work. I really need to focus on expanding the action, while retaining the deeper metaphor. So for instance, had I this to do over again, maybe I'd take it as a diary from Einstein's life in Africa. I could show select entries describing what he'd done, how he'd done it, dealing with how he comes to grips with himself, and the "dark continent." But that wouldn't be enough. There also needs to be some running device to provide an action with which he can struggle. Maybe it would be good if he became a Nazi hunter, all Mossad style. Or developed some sort of supertech device to hunt down and kill them. Or for a slightly less comic-booky feel, maybe he could have to deal with an ex-Nazi neighbor. Anything so long as something is happening! Also I think the descriptives and narrative fail completely. The whole story reminds me of a diet coke that's been opened and left in the sun for three hours - flat, bland and slightly nauseating.

Um, yeah, what he said. I don't think this story is that bad, but I do think it has most of the weaknesses JED points out above. Basically, when we talked about changed history, JED described his awesome idea about Africa becoming the new center of the world after WWII, and this is the beginning of that. But there really isn't that much to it. It's a good start, but what I really wanted was to learn what happens after Einstein gets there. All of those options JED outlined sound pretty awesome, so I guess I don't have anything to suggest other than those.

Outside the confines of this story alone, I will note my agreement that JED has a tendency to occasionally write passive pieces; it's not a universal problem, there's plenty of action in plenty of his stories, but I think it would be better to steer away from that. It's a difficult line to tread within the confines of the Game, because our goal here is to improve our writing, not to create polished pieces, and the reflective pieces are really a part of world-building which, if you hadn't noticed, JED really excels at. His reflective pieces tend to set the stage, then call it a night, and in the Game, that's not verboten at all; anything that intrigues you, that helps you grow as a writer is encouraged. I would like to see the finished production sometime, though.

JP's Immigrant

2006-09-17T18:17:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Immigrant - JP

This story is supposed to have a poetic, sing-songy air to it inspired by The Song of Hiawatha, but I’m not sure I pulled it off. It’s definitely a weird story, but it was fun to write. I like the idea of a folktale that’s been corrupted and converted, and shows in its very telling that it isn’t itself. And of course, that’s the whole point; it’s very circular. I had just finished reading House of Leaves when I wrote this, and I’m sure that influenced the final footnote if not the whole thing, but I had to exorcise that style out of my system somehow. I thought it turned out pretty well, but I don’t think JED liked it that much... it’s probably much more poetic in my head than in real life.

Since I'm dishing out harshness today, allow me to turn my scathing Sauronian eye to JP's work. In a nutshell: I didn't like it. I think I see what he was trying to do here, and I can appreciate the general theme of cycling immigration, how one people flow into another, and back out again. I even dig the Chinese cum Native American world in which he set it. It's a nifty idea. But his execution just doesn't cut it on this one. The "grandfather tales" style narration clutters the theme and makes it hard to tell what the hell is going on. The complexity of the world is confusing rather than clarifying, annoying rather than engrossing. I kept getting stuck on the details of mountain versus plain, and when I felt there was a gap in the setting I'd get stuck trying to figure that out, rather than ignore it for the greater picture. The story arc was a distraction to me, when it was intended to be the centerpiece. In general, I think this was an over-ambitious attempt to cram a deep metaphorical piece into an elaborate, but underdeveloped world, using a highly specialized narrative voice that doesn't fit the tale. I give the young feller props for imagination and the size of his vision, but this time it just didn't work out. I say this in all good humor, because I can promise that in some of his upcoming stories it works out awesomely.

JP's Changed History

2006-09-17T18:11:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Changed History - JP

I gained a whole new respect for alt-history this week, which is not a genre I ever considered much about. The sheer amount of possibilities you have to account for, and cause-and-effect linkages you have to keep track of, is staggering. Of course, that’s what makes it so cool, watching the butterfly effect change everything. There ultimately comes a point where you get to let go of our world, and realize that you’re really traveling in a different world, and that’s where the fun really begins. This idea began as a “what-if” about the Mormons succeeding in their early bid to take over the nation. Then I remembered that Aaron Burr had tried to make his own country, and everything came from there. I think the bulk of this story is in the off-camera notes I made, which is unfortunate, and if anyone ever asks, I'll post those. I liked the Presidential Address style. And no, I couldn’t help myself from making Gore president.

This isn't one of my favorites, but I do have to say that I dig this story. Not for its presentation, which, as a political speech, is a bit dry, and a little confusing, but instead for the lovely intricacy of the world history that JP has revealed. He obviously did some research on this one. And I do think he artfully reveals that history through the context of the speech, without having that "why am I recapping something everyone here should already know" problem. I guess I don't have too much more to say, except that I'd love to see him come back and actually set some stories in this world. Wouldn't you love to know about soldiers on the front lines, or the survivors of the Japanese Exile? The political differences at play between ambassadors of Empire Republica and the New Union? Labor issues or housewives or cops or farmers? The daily lives of these people could be an excellent backdrop for commentary on modern political impacts. Or something. Plus it would be fun to read. On a final note, to anyone reading this I have to give you fair warning about some of JPs upcoming stories. They kick SERIOUS butt. This kid is going places, fast. And if we're lucky he'll take us all along for the ride.

JED's Changed History

2006-09-17T18:02:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Changed History - JED

Yes, I know it's mine, and yes I know it's not exactly "1984," but I like this lil' ole story nonetheless. So the pitch for this one was to write a story dealing with an alternate history, based on one thing that had gone differently, of an item currently in the news. The item I picked up in the news was the great immigration debate. The thing I changed in history was that the US hadn't accepted European refugees as readily during the early stages of WWII. It was really fun following a (admittedly highly speculative) chain of events leading from this to Germany getting the atomic bomb first, to the bombing of Europe, to negotiated detante with Japan, to American isolationism, to the submerssion of pop culture within 1960s style paranoia, to a single training camp for what is basically the US National Gaurd. Of course, this also gave me a wonderful opportunity to express my political philosophies, something that I don't think I've had a chance to do up until now. I'll let the stories high horse speak pretty much for itself, but I will say that I strong-handedly make the case that the loss of freedoms is no way to protect freedom. And freedom is the essence of the good 'ole US of A, at least as I see it.

As for the story itself, this was a fun narrator to explore. He was a little cliched maybe, but I tried to play up his own fear and insecurity and guilt as an antidote to being swamped by his rabid revolutionary ideology. I also find very appealing the notion that the American spirit lives on, no matter how badly it is crushed or smothered by fearmongers. Lets hope thats true.

I think it's interesting how we both managed to have a major focus on the development and use of the atomic bomb, even though in my story that had little to do with the events surrounding its creation or use at its base. Retracing the steps of history, and then seeing a different retracing through JED's story, definitely hammers home how precariously close we have been to nuclear holocaust, and this from someone who has never been a big anti-nukes hippie.

Overall, I enjoyed this story, and I find JED's treatments of history interesting. There is something of the cliche in here, and the idea of a dystopian future where freedom is twisted into a tool of repression is, well, regretfully close to home these days, but still powerful. As with JED on mine, I found this story far more interesting for the world it represents than for the story itself, but it was a good story nonetheless.

JED's NPC

2006-08-21T11:30:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: NPC- JED

It is HARD to write an action sequence. That's what I learned from this story. Damn hard. Sure it doesn't seem that tricky, I mean, hundreds, if not thousands, of untalented Hollywood hacks do it every day. And yet...tricky. You spend too much time on the action and you end up overloading it with hyperbole. Bang! Pow! Zowie! Sounds positively Bat-tastic.

On the other hand, if you try to make it splendiferously dark you end up sounding like a cross between Ernest Hemingway and Steven Seagal. "I would drink to his memory. Drink blood. In the rain."

Neither of these is, how you say, "good." But walking the middle line is tricky. Chalk that up to lessons learned about writing. Horror and action are harder than you'd think, while drama is much, much easier than you'd think.

Other than that, well, it's a fun little story with loads and loads of geekiness. I wish I could pretend it's geek chic, but no, just plain geek.

On second glance, I think it's also awfully wordy.

I like how JED (both of us, maybe) took this opportunity to write basically some AD&D fanfic. I don’t mean that in the ordinary, insulting way I would use the term “fanfic,” though. (Excuse me for a moment while I climb onto my soapbox). At the risk of exposing the true unwholesome depths to which my geekery extends, AD&D is one of, if not the, most amazing and creative worlds ever imagined, in no small part, I think, because it wasn’t created by a single person, but fleshed out by tons of creative minds over the years. Now frankly, I don’t love where they’ve gone with it lately, but if we were to put AD&D fanfic into the same category as Buffy fanfic or something, we would be doing the fantasy community an enormous disservice. The other notable difference is that AD&D is designed for people to create their own stories in its setting. It’s whole purpose in being is to be a backdrop for individual creativity. And Planescape, the setting where this story seems like it would be right at home, is seriously about the most creative fantasy world that has ever been, Tolkien be damned (no disrespect, of course).

Okay, now to the actual story: I like it. It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s well-done, it’s got that same “gives you something to think about but not-all-that-deep” thing JED was talking about in reference to my story; overall, it’s a great little fantasy story. Nothing really ground-breaking here, but why does there always have to be? If all writing had to break new ground to be good, there wouldn’t be much ground left to walk on. Or something.

JP's NPC

2006-08-21T10:30:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: NPC - JP

This pitch spoke so perfectly to the setting in my video game pitch that I couldn’t resist. I had invented a number of NPC’s who got only name mention, and I’d said I wanted to flesh them out, so here was the opportunity. Kokyangwuti appealed to me because I felt like she was one of the least exciting of the NPC’s, and easily blown off and forgotten (Jason said he actually remembered her, though). I like the idea of this minor character, who really does occupy a minor role in the main story, reflecting some kind of deep universal truth that supercedes everything the player (I still think of it as a game) has been lead to believe about the nature of the story’s universe. Thus, the player is left with the barest of hints, through the unlikeliest of sources, that there is far more to this world than meets the eye.

So this one is based on JP's "Video Game Plot." It's dark, it's nasty, it's fantastical. It's over the top and under the bottom, and I like it. It's what I think of as a "shallow in the deep end" type story. Which is to say, it makes you think, but not too much, and the themes are fairly obvious. But it's a good bit of wicked fun. Plus the bad get their comeupance from the even badder, so its got a well-framed little moral there too. Little fish, big fish - no free lunch.

One thing he does a bit differently here, is to spend a lot of time on description and less on dialogue. And the descriptions pop. Vivid, easy to see, fun to read. It's not his usual modus operandi, but he pulls it off with aplomb.

I'd honestly love to see him do a story like this for every single NPC in his "video game plot" storyline. The characters are creative interpretations of old standbys, and the way that JP presents them is both entertaining and engrossing.

JED's Pitch from a Fantasy Generator

2006-08-09T18:56:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Pitch from a Fantasy Generator - JED

So here's the randomly generated pitch: "A selfish dairymaid plays a prank on a band of wolves. The result is disaster." And, uh, well, that's exactly what I wrote. Straight up. Truthfully, I got seriously lucky. Truly truthfully, we did allow ourselves to scroll through several randomly generated pitches looking for a good one. So I ignored a lot of stuff about mermen and hidden kings, and fairy princesses, and uh, crap.

I decided right off the bat that I didn't want to write this as a fantasy story. I don't know why, but I often consider fantasy, and even SF, to be cop-outs. I know that many, many people will disagree, not least of all JP. I'm completely not saying that F/SF/H means crappy writing. Some of the absolute best writing come from these genres, and I myself read almost entirely these. What I guess I'm saying is that it's easy to make something half-way entertaining in F/SF/H and much harder to do when you chain yourself to some sort of reality. Anyone can write with a gimmick, but of course writing well with a gimmick is much harder. And since the point of the game is to challenge your limits, and I'm lazy, I often gravitate to non-speculative themes. It's hard but not too hard. And it sounds all literary-like. Of course, I did let myself drift into quasi-historical periodicity, so it's not like I'm really "writing what I know."

I do like this story, even though it's one of the most depressing that I've written. I like it for it's theme, and for the fact that it's fairly unflinching. I think the execution is a little bit lacking, well, more than a little. Some of the writing is sloppy and it could definitely use a good polish. Still, it's got something to say, an important and not entirely obvious theme, and often my work doesn't. Plus, it's definitely outside the bounds of my normal comfort zone.

However, I will concede that I'm once again dealing with a theme of selfishness, sin, remorse and repentance. It's weird sometimes, 'cause they don't start out that way, but I blink and there they go, slipping into maudlin-land. Very in-ter-est-ink....

I’ve said stories were JED’s best before, but that was before this one. I found this story extremely well put together, very complete, and amazingly powerful. The ending just sinks into you like a stone, perfectly evoking that horrible feeling of having done something wrong, something truly wrong, and never being able to take it back, no matter how sorry you are (or maybe this is just my petty, shallow past resurfacing in my petty, shallow present.) One thing that amazes me about this piece is how little dialogue there is. There’s virtually none. Generally, I consider dialogue a must in a story. But here, you don’t miss it.

I think one thing that really draws me to this story is the sense of harsh reality. It’s just very, very, real; cruelly real, in fact, and JED uses detail masterfully to really bring the setting to the reader. Ultimately, this just drives the point home so much more effectively. And what’s more amazing is that he looked at that randomly-generated plot, and saw this gem within it. Me, I stuck with wizards.

JP's Pitch from a Fantasy Generator

2006-08-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Pitch From a Fantasy Generator - JP

My random pitch: “A heartbroken wizard and a sailor search for a legendary beast in this tale of pandemonium.”

The pitch immediately struck me as something out of Peter S. Beagle, which could have had something to do with the fact that we watched The Last Unicorn the week before. Though I have sailed a small boat before, I really don’t know anything nautical, so I looked up most of the terms; I’m sure I used them incorrectly. This is really more of a scene from a much longer story rather than a story unto itself, and maybe one day, I’ll write the finished piece. I’m very fond of the characters, and the role of magic.

Want

More.

This story whets my appetite. It sharpens my literary hunger. I want to know more about these characters, about their quest, about their past, and about their world. JP you tease.

I think he's right on the money with the Peter S. Beagle comparison. It's fantasy with an emo touch. Visceral but simple. Possibly metaphorical, possibly allegorical. Lovely.

As always JP does a great job with characters. One of the fellow's strongest strengths (urg) is his ability to concisely introduce a layered character, to get you feeling like you know them and you want to know more. He reveals it in their descriptions, in their plotted actions, in their dialogue. I think it's what gives many of his stories their feel of originality and authenticity. Here two characters who could have easily been stereotyped cardboard cutouts come across as entirely 3D. Nicely done.

His descriptions are equally vivid, and the hinted plotline is immediately engrossing. There's no resolution, and no real arc to it, but it definitely gives you the feeling that something intriguing is waiting in the wings. Maybe if we all yell loud enough he'll give us some more one day (or Tinkerbell will come back from the dead, or an angel will get it's wings or something like that).

JP's Wilderness

2006-08-02T17:43:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Wilderness - JP

Not one of my greatest, but I hope it’s fun to read. I really can’t tell if it’s clever or stupid (such a fine line, really). I was reading Parasite Rex at the time, which is a marvelous book if you haven’t read it; I always thought that if I hadn’t pursued my current profession, I would have become a parasitologist. Of course, if you know my current profession, you might think there isn’t much difference. Anyway, the idea of the universe within being such a distinct environment, an ecosystem all on its own, was just too prevalent in my thoughts to not use on this pitch, regardless of whether or not its been done before. Add to that a rather heated debate between Pa, C and I concerning urban sprawl, and this is what you get.

Okay, I'll admit it - this is a derivative story. It's kind of like Fantastic Voyage meets Sound of Distant Thunder, with a light glaze of Atlas Shrugged in sarcasm sauce. Those are all great stories in their own right (though I personally loathe Ayn Rand's pretentious uber-crap self-indulgence justification - reason drives the world, my butt). JP has put together something that also has a good message and delivers a nice read. It's not honestly that original, neither in its setting, nor in the notion of capatilistic elitist over-exploitation that it delivers, but it's still fun. I don't think every story has to come completely out of left field. It's hard, if not impossible to come up with brand spanking new ideas in this day and age. So you take a little of this and a little of that and mix them together into something tasty. It's like a casserole made from Thanksgiving leftovers - reminiscent of something sure, but good and filling in it's own right.

For the record, I think JP actually does a better job than Asimov with the setting (yeah, I said it). It's visceral (hah!) and it gets you where you want to go. The bigger problem that I have is with his overall theme. Now don't get me wrong, I have a loathing for man's inherent greed, and anthropocentric destructivity that's a mile wide. It's just that I don't really think it's a particularly nuanced view that JP puts out. Macho plutocratic tyrants = feckless exploitation of nature. Yeah. We all agree on that, but it does ring a little bit of the cartoon if you get my drift. Simple lines and bright colors. On the other hand, it is a short story so what should I expect? It made me think. Not a lot, no, but it did make me think. Plus it was fun. Is that enough or is there some way that it could grow into something more layered? I don't know....

JED's Wilderness

2006-08-02T17:33:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Wilderness - JED

I have to say that I think JP hit the nail on the head with his commentary here. I like this story; I think it's fun. But I also think it's divided - it doesn't know whether it wants to be a sci-fi epic of altered biology, complete with intricate world-building details, or a spec fic allegory, where the external world is the mirror of one person's mind. The thing is, I want it to be both, and I'm not sure it can't be.

First off, I think constraining ourselves to preset genre boundaries is a generally poor idea. The story should go where the story goes, and so be it. On the other hand, genres exist because stories that contain a certain conglomeration of elements are more likely to be palatable than others. There's a kind of natural selection going on. Certain mixes just work better than others - no one wants lettuce in their peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and similarly no one wants a child murder in a light comedy (not that lettuce equates to child murder, that would be more like brussel sprouts).

There are several authors of introspective metaphorical alt-realty fiction, who spend a great deal of time with world building and glam-detail. China Mieville for one. Of course, I'm not as good, or as well-honed as he is. But I think it can be done. I'd love to revisit this story someday soon and make a few discrete modifications/additions. Turn up the character of the narrator and make manifest his internal state - clarifying some of the mirroring of psyche to biome. Deal more with the world outside the narrator, giving it a little bit more presence, and more interaction with the events of the story. Give the jungle a little more "dark and hungry" undercurrent, and tone down a bit of the science-geekery (though in my defense, I am a science geek, and therefore that kind of bio-mumbo-jumbo is crazy entertaining to me). All this and a little salt and I think this story could turn into something quite palatable.

I think this is a great idea, though I have to admit to some reservation: I think this story wants to be either a stellar speculative fiction piece or the background/world building phase of a stellar science fiction piece, but it drops right between the two. I like the voice, I like the writing, the descriptions, as always, are marvelous, but I felt like it didn’t have enough plot to be a real SF piece and, if it ever had the intent to go into that weird twilight realm that is SpecFic (which it easily could have—just think of the jungle as a metaphor for life in the city, his problems with job and relationship, the beauty of hope, etc… dig it), it gets sidetracked by JED’s love of detail and explanation. So those are my thoughts. I would love to see JED take it either way; heck, I’d love to see him take it both.

JED's Festival

2006-07-26T18:04:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Festival - JED

This is one of my favorite attempts at SF. Okay, so I've only done like two, and I actually like the other one a little more, but still. I generally think the role of SF is to spin something so that you see it from a different angle. It isn't the heroic saga of fantasy, or the insightful artistry of SpecFic. It's just to make you go 'huh' about some element of the human condition. I hope that I accomplish that a little bit with this story. Of course, the main thing is that I hope the readers actually get that these guys are human. That's always a tricky thing when you're writing flash fic – how much to give away. Too much and it ends up reading like a plot outline, no fun there. Too little and everyone misses the subtle beauty of your genius. Er. Yeah. Anyway, these guys are human, and not only that they represent humans who have somehow adopted an alternating life history stage cycle. So there's a dark generation and a light generation, and never the twain will overlap substantially.

I'm not really certain what inspired me to write this for this pitch. I guess I was thinking about how most festivals originally had to do with astronomical cues and the changing of the seasons. How they were celebrations of renewed life and celebrations of lives already lived. I like that aspect here – that the dying embrace their death with a little bit of nostalgia for what is over, but a lot of hope for what is to come. Maybe some day I'll go back and expand on this one, give it a little more depth (maybe a lot more depth) and really flesh out these themes. In the mean time I will give you a little teaser (you deserve that if you actually read these things)…in a future story you'll get to see how JP handles the world I created here, and I pretty damn sure you'll like what he has to say

One of our themes here at the game is that we present to you writing at its rawest; this is what we come up with in a week’s time. If we get to edit it and polish it in that week, great, if not, too bad, it goes up as-is (minus copy-editing). Often, that’s a shame, and I think this piece is a good example of why. I love this world. The more I think about it, the more I love it. I love the duality, I love the characters, I love the story, I love everything about it. But man, will you look at that use of passive voice! I think one good edit would take this over that fine, fine line between cool and awesome, and who knows, maybe we’ll get that someday. Maybe even more.

The other thing about this piece is that I totally didn’t understand what was happening the first time through. Then I read JED’s notes (yes, we actually make notes… if you’re good, we might show them to you sometime) and suddenly everything made sense. So if you didn’t get that we have here a race that lives on a planet with an enormously long day/night cycle, and that the race has a different and morphologically distinct generation for each part of that cycle, go back and read it again. Because it’s a really cool scifi world… maybe if we all ask nicely, JED will bring us more.

JP's Festival

2006-07-26T17:59:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Festival - JP

This is a great example of how the Game leads up to write interesting things we might never right otherwise. Sure, this story doesn’t stand up to the slightest bit of scrutiny, but it’s a fun piece to write, and hopefully a fun one to read quickly. Nothing novel about it, but I enjoyed taking on this style. I took inspiration from Borges’s “Death and the Compass,” a serious story that is actually chock full of weird meaning, in stark contrast to my own. The name Dread Scharlack is a nod to Borges’s villain, Red Scharlock.

I can't be certain, since I haven't read his comments yet, but I seem to remember that JP didn't like this story. Which, to be honest, I can understand. It's a little slow, and fairly blatant, with a theme that isn't the most original. But saying it isn't his best is still saying that it isn't HIS BEST. So it's still several notches above good. I enjoy the unusual, almost Holmsian setting, together with the interesting twist of complicity between hero and villain. Yes, it's been done, pointed out that the two need each other and that heroes need villains to keep on being heroes, publicity junkies that they are. But it's a nice spin on that, with a well played accent. Certainly, it's far from his best, but I still think it's a tasty little treat.

JED's Time Limited

2006-07-19T16:08:00.000-05:00

Link to original story: Time Limited - JED

Okay, I just re-read this one, and you know what? I likes it. Especially since I finished in a bloody short bit of time. Of course, now there are things I'd change; words I'd add or delete, images I'd refine, scenes I'd subtract. But all in all it's pretty tasty! If I do say so myself, which I do. Er. Yeah. Occasionally with these pitches, you get an idea, a way of interpreting it that actually seems original. That's harder to do than it sounds. Most of my ideas turn out to be stolen images from TV or songs or books I once read. So you tweak it, and you spin it, but it comes out a derivation of prior work. This one is certainly that, I mean, I'm not the first guy to write a first person narrative of hell. But it's a unique spin on the pitch I think. And I like that.

Other things I want you readers (I use the plural generously here) to know: the narrator is actually in the 4th circle of the 8th pit of hell, that area reserved for false prophets and astrologers, those who try to make prophet (I think JED means "profit" here, but who am I to deny so perfect a pun?-- Ed.) from bending God's law and subverting nature to know the future. Which is, incidentally, really tricky to make into a sin using modern morality. Their punishment is to walk forever around the circle with their heads facing backwards so that they can see only the past. Doug, the suicide, is in a higher level (I think the 7th circle, but don't hold me to that) in a circle reserved for suicides. According to Dante, suicides are punished by being turned into thorny trees and only allowed to speak when their branches are broken and torn by harpies. Nice guy Dante. Vivid imagination.

Now it may just be that I’m a sucker for a good damnation story. “Know what you’re getting into,” I always say. Or it may just be that this is a darn good story. Either way, I’m a huge fan of this one. A very unique look at hell. JED assures me that it’s all very Dante, and I believe it. It certainly has the Dante-an feeling that being trapped in Hell is one’s own doing, and escape is as simple as walking away. But the Damned will never do that; it’s their fate that the door is always in front of them, but they cannot bring themselves to walk through it. I suppose there’s a little bit of Sartre in there as well.

Anyway, I thought this was an excellent story, and clearly JED works best under time pressure. It seems very polished for a two-hour throw together. I’m especially fond of the scene where he rubs dirt into his eyes, trying to see through it to all the moments of his life the are crumbled within. Excellent visual imagery, and very poignant. I also like that the suicide was there as well; each person suffers from their own sin, regardless of what brought them to the point of sinning. And of course, contrapasso, the sin is, as ever, its own punishment. I’ve desperately wanted to write a story on contrapasso for a while; maybe this will inspire me to do that.

Anyway, not a whole lot of critique for this one from me, just some fan mail, I guess. I’m making an active effort to be more critical of JED’s works, a) because it helps him become a better writer, just as he does for me, and b) so it’s not constantly a back-slapping fest here. There are times, however, when I’m just so impressed by what he comes up with, I don’t have much negative to say. This is one of those times.

JP's Time Limited

2006-07-19T06:42:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Time Limited - JP

JED sucks. Hard. This time, we gave each other different pitches, so that we wouldn’t have more than the 2 hour time limit to prepare. His pitch happened to include the little proviso that I everything I wrote immediately became part of the story. In other words, I couldn’t erase anything, except to fix typos. And that’s why this monster emerged. I spent about an hour thinking on this one, but since I couldn’t write anything down (or else my notes would have had to be part of the story), a lot of that thought vanished into the open air, and its dried up leavings became this excrement. There’s an interesting idea in here; I think I found where I was going with it when she confronts the whale, but mostly, not so much. I intended the opening and closing segments to look like arrows, by the way. There’s a small chance I might come back some day and whisk this idea away from its drab existence to a fabulous life as a real honest-to-god story, but then again, maybe not.

Occasionally, JP sells himself way short. Okay, he often sells himself way short. I really liked this story. Much like his recent 'Palimpsest' this story displays a nice touch of word play and shaping, and yet contains an evocative and creative soul. I thought this idea was crazy cool. Harpooning an angel/God/whale of time? Neat in anyone's book! It does seem slightly Quantum Leap, but without the high minded morality, and that's also a good thing. I should also mention that I gave the little (he's actually notably taller than I am) SOB (he's not really a SOB - our mother is a very nice woman. Really) a hard pitch on purpose. See, he's getting too talented for our little dabbles. He's hitting proverbial homeruns every time out, and I'm sick and tired of it. From now on, my pitches are going to be balls to the wall hard. Which will undoubtedly lead him to rise to the occasion and produce some truly sterling work. I'd love to see him rewrite this story, give it the polish and extrapolation it deserves. But I'm not going to lambast it here, because frankly, I think it's pretty damn good for the pitch it came from. Pretty damn good flat out. He stays on point and delivers the goods.

JP's Palimpsest

2006-07-11T22:05:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Palimpsest - JP

This pitch gave me absolute hell. I wracked my brain the entire time, trying in vain to come up with something that would be cool. Perhaps a story of the overlay of modern life on the groundings of the natural world? Yah. A meditation on how we truly become different people built on the ruins of our own selves? Too hard (but see JED’s for an excellent treatment). Finally, I was running out of time, and at the last minute, I sat down and this idea just came to me, and out it flowed.

This is one of my favorites of my own pieces so far, honestly. Originally there were only two voices, normal and italic (the first couple words shouldn’t be bolded, but for format). Then the other two just kind of popped up out of nowhere. While you can’t read the fragments of each type separately, I think each one tells its own story, and gives its own attitude. One voice sees the rest as compatriots, and takes comfort. Another views the probe with suspicion. Still another is hoping it will reach another of its own kind, and the last, of course, is the original. Can you tell who is who?

To make this comment yet a little longer, I think this story is what the Game is all about for me: I love it, I had a blast writing it, and it simply isn’t something I would consider right to market. The Game allows us to share the things we’re proud of (and the ones we aren’t) in a setting devoid of commercial interest, and there’s something about that which makes the whole thing feel so awesome. Not that I’m against money (in fact, I love it!), but it’s really nice to have someplace to just right without that pressure.

This story is short, but I think it's an excellent showpiece for JP's newfound artistry with words. By which I don't mean to imply that he wasn't a good writer before - he certainly was. It just seems to me that recently he's reached a new plateau. In the words of RPG dorks everywhere, he's leveled up. And apparently this has bestowed upon him the ability to play with text in an almost e.e. cummings-esque way. This artistry also makes an appearance in his genre drabbles, and in a few other stories that only I know about just yet (yes, we have secrets). But this piece exemplifies it. Here you can see how he layers the words and fonts to create a pastiche of multiple cultures, revealing aspects of the individual, blending into a concerted chorus. Honestly, that's the best analogy for what he's created here - a multicultural cosmic chorus, all singing a dirge of lost life and memory...and hope. I think that underlying message, the deeper connectivity is one of the most beautiful things about this story. In it you can hear an almost mournful and individual loneliness, all these worlds like castaways lost and alone, never finding another living soul. But in their common destruction they achieve unity and in their death cries, immortality of a sort. The tragic beauty of this is moving. It takes a melancholy mind to concieve of such, but also a heart tinged with hope to bring out the better angels of such a eulogy. Frankly, though I feel this story is complete, it left me wanting more. I want to visit these places, meet these people, get to know them before they freeze or burn, hear their stories of discovery and loss and triumph. In the end, this story transports you, and isn't that what it's all about?

JED's Palimpsest

2006-07-11T21:47:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Palimpsest - JED

It's interesting how stories evolve. I was sitting on a bus, riding home in the late afternoon, twiddling my thumbs (whatever that means) when I had the seed of this idea. I thought, wouldn't it be neat to do it as a diary. A person reading and re-writing a diary. Onto that core I added layers; an introduction from a conversation with a counselor, a lost sense of identity, a touch of Frankenstein-ian construction and human arrogance, a dash of similarity, a smidgen of loss and love. Bake for 40 minutes and *poof*, this is what you get.

I liked writing in two voices that were really one voice. It was fun to make them similar and yet different. Similarly fun to play with the idea of consistency of self. One of the ideas I was trying to reach here is, basically, what makes you, you? There are disorders where we no longer recognize people known to us, thinking them, against all reason, to be perfect impostors. There are disorders where we imagine our own limbs to be in someone else's control. What if that was turned even deeper? The narrator here has no loss of memory. He recalls everything from his previous life, he simply doesn't claim ownership of it. Some of us can relate to that quite strongly. Was it really YOU that stole candy from the corner store when you were a kid? Really you who wanted to grow up to be spider-man? Really you who kissed her under the porch light, that first time? Beliefs change, personalities change, so why are we who we are? Memory is owned; it has a label and sense of possesion. This story might have been a little over ambitious in trying to make you consider what that sense of possession really means, but hopefully it's entertaining. Making you think is part of the point of a story, but if it isn't entertaining I don't think it can do that so readily.

I’m impressed at the crop this pitch turned out. I think JED’s story is great; he deals directly, both literally and metaphorically, with a subject I toyed with and ran screaming like a little baby from: the idea that we each are palimpsests of the person we use to be, a new person, a new document, written on top of the old, with the original, down to when we were little, showing through all the time. One thing I’m particularly fond of is the fact that the new man, the palimpsest man, really isn’t a different person than the “original.” He isn’t an amnesiac trying to understand this stranger he once was. He’s the same guy. He just can’t see it. He’s built an idol out of his old self, and has deluded himself into thinking “that isn’t me, I’m not like that.” But that was him, without mistaking. Imagine yourself when you were younger, the person you were the things you did. You’ve changed since then; you’re virtually a different person in many ways. Here, the protagonist is the same way; he just takes it a little too literally.

JED's Reborn Story

2006-07-07T16:26:00.000-05:00

Link to the Original Story: Reborn Story - JED

Okay, I know I'm down on myself in a lot of these Author's Notes. And here's my chance not to be. I really like this world. I mean I really, REALLY, like this world. To me this is what spec fic ought to be. It is complete, self-sustaining, real, but equally mythic, metaphorical and fantastic. Things don't make sense at a very fundamental level. But that's never explained because it's beside the point. It's a mix of metaphor and reality, making the theme almost tangible and the characters vividly real. At least, that was what I was shooting for. On top of that, it was crazy fun creating this world. Starting from my previous work, all I had was some really big trees and a huge river. Now we've got philosophy, religion, geography (a little), characters, biology, and a heaping helping of weirdness, with a dollop of action on top. I likes. I'm not sure how these developments came to me. For me world building is a very organic process; stuff just falls into place. Mixing catholocism, voodoo, and calculus just seemed natural (no insult to voodoo or catholocism intended). The same goes for the river biology and the crew of the boat). I will also admit that this story is not complete. Far from it. I think it's probably about half way through, maybe less. And I am working on finishing it off. I've got another 3 pages already written and some rewrites on the intro, and when it's all said and done I will post it here as a special bonus feature. There's going to be more explanation, more strange adventure, more metaphor and more character. Plus more backdrop, cause that's what I love to do. In the end, I'm proud of this one.

I honestly think this is some of JED’s best work, bar none. Here he has his world-building powers going at full tilt, constructing an entire complete universe in just a few pages. I have to admit, I was a little confused when I saw that he chose River Driver to redo; it was a nice little story, but there really wasn’t a whole lot going on; more of an explanation of a nifty idea than a fully fleshed out creature. But, like a seed from one of his giant trees, clearly that nifty idea took powerful root in JED’s imagination, and germinated fiercely to become an entirely different creature altogether. It’s a fascinating meditation on what it means to belong and not belong in a world that is in some ways very concrete and in others, mystifyingly speculative. The only complaint I have, if it can be called one, is that there is clearly more to come; the ideas are not encapsulated in themselves, but there is much more to come. I’ve actually gotten a little taste of what there is, and let me tell you folks, it’s worth waiting for. I think there could be publication in the future of a later version of this piece.

Oh, and just had to give one shout out to my dogg John the Troll; I love that character. Genuinely human, genuinely not, straddling the lines between man and more than man and less than man, John is at once a character in a constant struggle to get a grasp on himself and very much comfortable with who he is. And he’s a friggin’ kick-ass stoic man-mountain to boot. Groovy.

JP's Reborn Story

2006-07-07T16:22:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Reborn Story - JP

I chose this pitch to rewrite for three reasons: a) I’m lazy; b) I was writing another story at the same time; and c) I felt like I didn’t properly complete the task the first time. This time, I wanted to plot out the entire story, and I feel like I did that. I’m pretty pleased with it; I’d love to play this video game. There’s still tons more to do with it, too. Giant swaths in the middle are missing, and I really liked the side characters, though most only got a sentence’s mention. In the future, I’d like to flesh out their stories and tie some of them in to the main plot.

Most of the Indian names here are taken from actual Native American words or names, as listed above. Adayesgi means cancer. The Quenteotl names are not taken from real Aztec, except for Moqueloa, which was another name for Tezcatlipoca, the cruel over-god of the Aztecs. Though Apotheosis is intentionally distinct from the rest, Jason didn’t think it worked. He’s probably right.

I would love to play this game, and I'd love to play it even more now than the first time. JP's conceptualization reminds me of the best of the old school (or should it be middle school?) RPGs - games like Fallout and Planescape: Torment and Baldur's Gate. All plot development with compelling characters and a moving story, set against a creative and vivid backdrop incorporating elements of the surreal into the rich detail of a fully functional world. Tasty. That said, I will deliver a slight criticism. I don't think it makes a good story. I love it. I really do, but the nature of a plot expose, even told as a culture myth as done here, is less than a perfect vehicle for an enjoyable story. It ends up being heavy on action and device, thick with repeated names, and relatively light on both theme and visual. No fault to him, it's just the nature of the pitch. Of all his pitches to be reborn, I would not have selected this one, simply because it is so limiting. But for what he had to work with I think he did an excellent job.

JP's Genre Drabbles

2006-07-06T05:48:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Genre Drabbles - JP

I have to admit, I’m pretty proud of these. Some more so than others, though. The horror one is pretty overtly ripped from Lovecraft (and even more so from the Call of Cthulhu video game), and it’s not all that swell. Likewise, the fantasy one may no so much as qualify as fantasy, and is really more SpecFic, or, possibly, Random Junk.

I’m much happier with the other two, however. The SF one has gotten a really great response from those who have read it (okay, JED and C), which is funny, as I dashed it down desperately in the last minute; sometimes things just come together. My favorite, though, is the SpecFic drabble. It may not be the best on its own merit, but it doesn’t have a single word repeated; not an “a,” not a “the,” not an “as.” That was actually a little difficult to do. Is the effect worthwhile? Probably not, but what the hell. I did it, which is cool.

Let me just say that I hate JP. I absolutely loathe him. I detest him. His talent makes me sick to my stomach. I have dry heaves of jealousy. There is no doubt to me that he absolutely hit a home run with these stories. Apparently, drabbles are his natural element. I struggle to find anything more substantive to say, I am so perfectly awe-struck. His fantasy, though not exactly fantasy so much as parable is eleganty worded, clever and moral. His SF is elegant and brilliant in it's voice and it's ability to convey both comedy and drama - perfectly captures the efferevescent weirdness that is SF. His horror, Lovecraftian by default, is such an encapsulation of that master that the Great Old Ones could be channeling through JP's puny form. It grabs you with it's inescapable creepiness, the pervasive fear that is transformation and corruption. And finally, his spec fic bonus feature. So freakin' great that I don't even know what to say. He had to point out to me how it never repeated a word. It IS the 100 words. So damn good I'm not even worthy to understand it. I will say that it's spec fic in the general realm of Phantom Tollbooth and The Little Prince, but being compared to Antoine St. Exupery is no diss in my book. He is, without a doubt, one of my favorite authors of all time.

JED's Genre Drabbles

2006-07-06T05:44:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Genre Drabbles - JED

Allow me to again reiterate my distaste for people with talent. See, writing a "good" story is so out of fashion these days. It's much more trendy to write crap. In the same sense that Paris Hilton has earned her celebrity, I too have earned accolades for these stories. I will admit that I like the idea of interlinking them. I will give myself that. And the journey isn't a bad theme to work with. The problem here is in the execution. Every single one of them comes out more as a vignette than a drabble. In my own defense, I have never actually read a drabble, and I will not repeat this mistake in the future. Still...meh. I tried to make them all a reflection of the essence of their genre. The fantasy is epic, and steals the song line from Tolkien, so that works. But it makes you wonder who these people are and what's going on. The SF is dull in it's reflectivity. It gets the "calm before the storm" feeling of a journey, but it leaves you wanting. The horror is less than horrifying, and more generally disquieting. The spec fic is specy, but I'm not sure how clear the theme is, and JP pointed out that it too left the reader feeling that the story had more to be disclosed. I was initially happy with these. But on reflection I am sorely dissapointed with them.

JED may be down on himself on this one, but I think it’s undeserved. I loved the way that he wove all drabbles into a single theme, and gave each one a place in that theme. They all play off each other, though each is different. That’s an idea I toyed with myself, before quickly dismissing it as “way too damn hard.” JED pulls it off masterfully. I do think that a couple, primarily the Fantasy one, don’t stand alone too well, but that’s a minor quibble. My favorites here are the SF one and the SpecFic one. Both do a great job of being self-contained, and have some awesome imagery. I’m especially fond of the SF one, but have to admit that the SpecFic one contains the better imagery, the cooler message, and the subtle shade of the metaphor for the creative process lingering behind it. The image of the stream running clear and pure out of the burnt forest is a powerful one.

JED's Boo in a paragraph

2006-06-30T19:49:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Boo in a Paragraph - JED

I'm not sure how actually spooky this is. I certainly intended it to be spooky though. It may come off as trying a little too hard (what with the coke can suicide and the killing everyone in your family kinda thing). Still, I'm pretty happy with it. It's hard to be frightening, really encapsulating the essence of surprise and fright that is "boo!", in just a paragraph. I don't think you need to know what the thing is, and I don't think you need to know what it's going to do to you. Sufficed to say, it's bad. Horribly, horribly bad. And beyond that you leave it up to the imagination of the reader, trusting that it's far more vivid than anything you could scrawl down on the page. That's a nice technique and is important with all stories – knowing when to let the reader take over. It's a bit hard for me since my natural inclination (as you may have noticed) is to write and write and write until every atom in the room has its own paragraph-long description. And on that note, I do think it would be fun to re-visit this universe sometime, explore exactly what is going on with my own imagination. Maybe save that for next Halloween.

JED had a very interesting idea with this one, and some very horror imagery (tearing your wrists on a coke can, anyone?) but I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of it. First of all, most of all, probably the main reason I’m not as thrilled with this one, is that the grammarian in me insists that this is two paragraphs. Moreover, I just don’t think I quite get it. In part, the nebulousness is the point, but I was still left a little bit confused. I must also say, it doesn’t really make me jump. I’d be interested to see where he could take the idea with a little more room, though; it intrigues me.

JP's Boo in a Paragraph

2006-06-30T19:30:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Boo in a Paragraph - JP

My girlfriend and I stayed up late one night watching an anthology series on AMC or something about the top 100 monster movie moments. It occurred to me, then, (with a little help from my muse) that the scariest part is the moment right before the monster leaps out, when the tension release has just happened and the boo moment is hanging in space just a second ahead, just a foot behind you. For an extra treat, read this immediately after reading JED’s. It’s eerie how well they go together.

To the point. Boogy boogy! It is VERY hard to encapsulate the essence of suprised fear in a single paragraph. It's hard to do it in a whole story. I think JP does a very good job at it by framing the mood and painting a visceral scene. You should feel the uncertainty, have questions about the nature of things. To me it should be more tactile than visual, helping your skin to crawl, just a little. And I think he's got his finger on the quickening of pulse.

JP's Tell-Tale Heart

2006-06-30T19:20:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Tell-Tale Heart - JP

This was a fun story to write—once you get the voice, it comes quickly. What’s most interesting to me is how JED and I went different directions with this pitch, and what parts of the original story we each kept or discarded. JED chose to emphasize the detail Poe placed in the set-up to the murder, where as I abandoned that element entirely, and focused on the narrator’s madness vs. his belief in his own sanity. Also interesting is how we tied the story into the substance of our narratives. Mine is sort of a sequel to the events in the Tell-Tale Heart, whereas in JED’s, Poe’s stories exist as written, to ominous consequence. The most difficult part of writing this one was thinking of some justification for having a heart on the mantel. Ultimately, I think it adds something to the story, though, an insight into the fact that the victim isn’t exactly the most normal person either.

I should also mention that this pitch was C’s idea. I was talking about horror to her and trying to explain how Poe did it in this story, and she said “well, why don’t you rewrite it?”

Leaving comments isn't always easy. Understand now that I like ALL of JPs stories. Mostly because he's a very good writer, but also partly because he's my friend and brother (awwwww) and I know how he thinks. So it's fun for me watching how he plays with the pitches regardless of what he does. Not to mention that I think his stories are the far superiors of mine any day of the week. Still, these comments wouldn't be that interesting, or honest, if all we did was suck up to each other all the time. I could say nice things all day, but eventually the warm fuzzies would fade away, and my words would become a boring and pointless drone. The good stuff has no meaning if that's all I put down. A critic can be a useful thing - if they're honest. So in the spirit of that, let me say that I really don't think this is JP's best story. He gets the voice down pat - it sounds very Poe-y. And the essence of Poe's original is definitely there. But I feel it is too confused and blurred to really get at the feeling of paranoia and rage that the original portrays. It's hard to figure out what is happening and why. Normally JP is the essence of clarity, but here I think he would have benefited from a more drawn out stage. A longer story could have racheted up the tension and given him ample time to expand/explore the plot line. On the other hand, I'm not sure that this story deviates enough from Poe. It almost seems like it hoves too closely to the original, simply adding in another heart. And I'm not sure that 2 is better than 1. I do like the idea of keeping Poe in the picture and I do like the idea of the paranoia as a contagion of sorts. But I bet if JP had it to do again he could do a more interesting job. So there.

JED's Tell-Tale Heart

2006-06-30T19:19:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Tell-Tale Heart - JED

Holy crap, this was fun to write. I mean, seriously, this may have been the single most fun-to-write story I've ever written. We should do this more often. I wonder what I could make of Crime and Punishment…knowing me it would probably end up involving care bears or something. Anyway, I loved writing in Poe's style. It's so distinct and so over-elaborately anachronistic that it's easy to get it into. Like putting on a nice comfortable overcoat you found in your grandparents' closet. And doing it as a dark comedy was that much better. I'm not sure how actually funny it was, and it sure as hell wasn't subtle, but it made me chuckle at my own cleverosity while writing it. The paranoid maniac who actually is having the universe conspire against him is neat, as is putting in all that homage to Poe. JP had one brilliant suggestion that I wish I had thought of: at the end we should have seen that the cross-stitch actually read "I love Poetry." That woulda been brilliant.

I really like JED’s take on the main theme, and the puns, or references, or whatever the heck you want to call them vary between clever and just plain absurd; either way, they left me smiling. I must say, however, he takes a little too long getting there. I was well past page one when I realized the story wasn’t meant to be serious, and then I just got confused up until the policemen showed up. It seems kind of disjointed that way; a seriousy-poe-y type beginning with a seriously jokey type end. The whole thing shouldn’t necessarily be a farce, but I definitely think the beginning could be smoothed over to make way for the punchlines. If this story were tightened and streamlined, it could be seriously fun. As it is, much like a watermelon blow-pop, you have to tough through a drawn-out beginning and confusing transition to get to the delicious bubble-gum finale.

JED's Ghost Story

2006-06-30T19:18:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Ghost Story - JED

When I first wrote this story I was proud of it. Then for a while, I wasn't. Now I'm proud of it again. Go figure. I liked this story for two main reasons: visual imagery and possible interpretation of context. After reading and re-reading I think that the imagery may be a bit over the top in spots; too tightly packed without enough space for anything other than pretty pretty reflection. But I still think it's got some nice phrasing and paints a vivid picture. As for the multiplicity of interpretations, that may just be something I see because I wrote it, but I really like it anyway. See, as I figure it you could see this story as the reflections and fears of either a) a man who is destined to become a ghost (as the narrator explicitly states, b) a man who already is a ghost (not his detachment from real life and think 6 th Sense) or c) a man who is crazy and thinks he's going to be a ghost and in retreating from life has turned himself into a living ghost. Don't ask me, 'cause I don't know. A little of each maybe, or something else altogether. At any rate, I thought it was a somewhat original take on the pitch.

I read JED’s comments on my Poe story and my version of this story before writing this, and I must say, it’s eerie how well our thoughts track, even when we don't like each other. Perhaps especially then, even. You see, on the Poe story, we both had fun producing a product that the other thought could have been better, and on this one, we both disliked the other’s work initially, then had it grow on us with re-reading. When I first read JED’s Ghost Story, I honestly thought it was one of his worst. I thought the introductory descriptions were overdone, the pacing was a bit tedious, and the whole point was a little strange and confusing. On re-reading, I don’t see any of that (well, the point is still strange, but I appreciate it much more). What brought on this dramatic change of heart? I have no idea; maybe I was expecting something different out a ghost story, and wasn’t prepared. Who can say? I still think this is a strange story, and I would like to see more of a supernatural element to it, instead of just reflective brooding, but I’ve been converted—I’m now a fan of this one. It’s very… overcast.

JP's Ghost Story

2006-06-30T19:17:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Ghost Story - JP

I’m not fond of this story—the first lesson in the fact that horror writing is hard. It’s an old-fashioned ghost story, but the scary parts are far too abbreviated. I really didn’t (don’t?) have the first idea how to build tension. Horror is a very visual and auditory medium, which is hard to convey in writing while still evoking the same responses. I always thought I’d be a great horror writer, but it turns out having horrific ideas and translating them to the page are two separate things. Hopefully, I’m getting better at that, and this is a story I’d like to approach from a different perspective later on. As for the meat of the story, I still think it’s pretty spooky, even if the writing doesn’t convey that. I frightened myself thinking about lying alone in a tent at night listening to the sound of chattering getting closer and closer.

The first time I read this story, I didn't really like it that much. But now I like it much more. I initially thought that the core idea, the ghostly chattering teeth was great, but I hated the way the story was told. I thought it was too campy, too cliche. Now I think that it went right over my head. See, campy is the point. The whole thing is supposed to sound like a campfire story from the last century. And JP nails that voice right on the head. That doesn't mean that I love the story in and of itself. The campfire genre is very constrained and more than a little predictable. But the point of this game is to stretch yourself, to let yourself inhabit genres and voices you might not normally explore. JP does that very well here. And he also manages to come up with an original spook to flesh it out. Even if you don't neccesarily enjoy a story, that kind of competence and professionalism has to be admired.

JP's Moses

2006-06-30T19:16:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Moses - JP

Like the previous story, this one is a last minute special, and hasn’t been edited either—I hadn’t even read it until just before writing this comment. JED likes this story, and on a second reading, it’s better than I thought it was, but I still consider it a failure. I think the idea is a sound one, maybe even a beautiful one, but I waited far too long to actually write it, and the execution is a little lacking. There are two parts, two paragraphs I like. The first one is when Aaron is being led into the chamber and it juxtaposes the church service and the execution so that the two become one event. I wish I could have written the entire story in that same style, but it was difficult to keep up; at least at six thirty on a Saturday night, with a very hungry C subtly asking to be fed and why the hell I hadn’t written it earlier. The second part I like is the actual execution—if I rewrite this story, I’ll keep that paragraph.

JED says thusly:

JED's Moses

2006-06-30T19:15:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Moses - JED

Okay, let me start by saying that I know this is wrong. It's bad. Not just in a literary way (which I freely admit to) but bad in a moral and societal way. This story is not healthy. That said, I had to write it. Couldn't help it. Got it stuck in my head and couldn't get it out. Oh, I tried other ideas, but nothing good came to me. Like this story was a massive er…poo…clogging the pipes of my mind. I had to plunge it out before I could think straight again. And isn't that a wonderful visual image. On the plus side it was fun to write. Not that it was clever or insightful or anything, but it was fun in a lame high school dork, TV sitcom writer way. I'm probably going to racist hell where I'll have to play spades with Hitler and hearts with some other horrible racist dude. I can't think of anyone right now. Dammit.

JP says thusly:

JED's Superhero Origin

2006-06-30T19:13:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Superhero Origin - JED

When I first wrote this story, I liked it. I thought it was clever and film noire-y. Reading it now, I think it's crap. Hard to understand, vague, and pretentious. But let me say this in my defense – it is HARD to come up with a unique superhero origin. I mean, there are like 50 million superheros and they all have origins. Doing something original is tough. Think of all the things that are already taken: alien, industrial/scientific accident, mutation, cosmic zap, magic amulet, predestination, built by the government, intentional design, etc, etc. All done. Not all done well, mind you, but all done. The same goes for superpowers; nothing you can write that isn't already written. And in retrospect I wish I had just stuck to formula. Noble of me to attempt to break new ground, but I think it falls on its face. The dialogue was okay, if a little pompous at times. The mood was alright. In general, it isn't my worst, but it isn't my best either.

JP says thusly:

JP's Superhero Origin

2006-06-30T19:12:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Superhero Origin - JP

JED points out that in areas, it’s difficult to tell whether the characters are saying what they would actually say or what tv and movies have told us they would say. That’s certainly true to an extent. I lived in a very poor, predominantly black neighborhood in Charleston for a year, and I’ve tried to base this on those experiences, but at times, the stereotype was difficult to escape. This story was definitely written at the last possible minute, and lacks editing. I have no idea how I would turn this character into a real superhero, but I look forward to trying.

I actually started writing a very different story for this pitch, but was only three paragraphs into it when I realized it was untenable, in part because the history of Scotland refused to conform itself to my ideas of what it ought to have been.

JED says thusly:

JED's Song to Story

2006-06-30T19:11:00.001-05:00

Link to Original Story: Song to Story - JED

First thing I noticed, the damn narrative voice changes. It goes from being an adult reminiscing to a child remembering recent events. It isn't jarring but it bothers me nonetheless. So, in case you don't know this story is based on the lyrics of "Through the Door" by Toad the Wet Sprocket. This isn't my favorite song in the whole world, though I am a TWS fan. I chose it because it's obviously telling a story, and I think I always wanted to know what that story was. The phoenix idea came to me smack dab out of the middle of nowhere, and to be honest I love it. It's weird, I think it's creative, and it's damn fun. I did a little phoenix research online and found out that they were rumored to build nests of cinnamon and other spices. Details like that are fun to toss in, just to give the story a little more substance. Again, I think it rushed at the end, but at this point we were still sticking fairly close to the 2 page limit, so I'll cut myself a little slack there.

Have to admit, this isn’t my favorite piece. JED gets points for going with a song I wouldn’t have thought of (though I, too, am a big Toad fan), and major bonus points for accurate detail into the phoenix myth. Also, I think the voice is well done, though perhaps a little sophisticated for the boy’s age. But overall, this one fell a little flat to me. It tracks very closely with the song, almost to the point where it doesn’t add much new, and what was really original here, the phoenix, was a little confusing. I do like that David was blind, and the phoenix gave him sight, but only for that single second. If this story were developed a lot more, I think it could be a winner—I can just imagine a Henson-esque phoenix, like from the old Storyteller series (if you haven’t seen it, go find it now), and vivid descriptions of the dusty old house, the neighborhood; oh yes, there is potential here. More interaction with the phoenix would be cool, though it would depart from the song. But in its current form, it needs work. Still, all told, whenever Glen Philips sang “Through the door, what do I see?” I always wanted to scream, “I don’t friggin’ know! Tell me!” Now, I no longer have to do that.:

JP's Song to Story

2006-06-30T19:11:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Song to Story - JP

For those unfamiliar with the song, this is based off of “The Stolen Child,” by the Waterboys, which is itself the Yeats poem of the same name set to music. Though the poem is about liberating a child from the sorrows of the human world to the joys of a magical realm, I always thought there was an element of sadness to it; “he’ll hear no more the lowing of the calves on the cold hillside,” I think personifies that sense of loss that is embedded somehow in the words and in the music the Waterboys added. It took me a while to come up with this idea, but when it came, I was possessed to write it… I just suddenly got the image of the boy underwater, bubbles trailing from his mouth, reaching out to a smiling fairy. This is probably the saddest piece I’ve ever written, and to me, it’s very haunting. I’m still not sure that the ending isn’t too abrupt, but I have difficulty wading back through the emotions involved to fix it. Maybe that’s the sign of an amateur.

JED says thusly:

JED's Sex

2006-06-30T19:10:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Sex - JED

It's actually been awhile since I wrote this. Almost a whole week! Things have been busy (or so I pretend) and so I've been working more on writing the next story than thinking about the last one. So, I just re-read it, and unsurprisingly was both embarrassed and pleased. First off I should say that JP really seemed to like this one. I think the idea was creative, and I'll give myself a clap on the back for it. The only down side is that it's more about lust than sex, but in the end I think that's okay. I also like the character of the narrator, there's something more interesting in his subtle lust than the overt lust Odysseus describes. And it was fun for me to do a bit of a fantasy. This is the first one I've done yet, and I'm proud of myself for holding out so long. That all said, I think its tone is melodramatic and stilted. Too grandiose and too awkward at the same time. Some of the sentences sound very "senior year in high school." And of course it seems rushed – I think he should have talked more about what he did before and after the sirens. In general it's not bad, though I do think it's a showcase for my limitations as much as my abilities.

I’m writing this note well down the road from when this story was written, and it’s still one of my favorites, from either of us. Sure, there’s a little graphic homosexual handjobbery going on, but that’s not the point. First of all, the story is just well-written, from start to finish. To me, the writing evokes the mood of a sky growing dark with clouds, but without rain. Second of all, it’s a fascinating take on the Odysseus myth, making what is, in reality, a fairly small aspect of the story, and allowing it to escape its confines; I love the idea that something relatively minor and trivial can be the incident that everything later revolves around. Also, both of the characters here, Odysseus himself and the narrator, are extremely complex and realistic characters. It’s not often that characters make so much of themselves known in such a small space. Finally, JED creates a powerful meditation on the nature of lust, the unbridled burning nature that drives men past the point of insanity, even when every fiber of them strains to resist. Odysseus, not the Sirens, is lust personified. He returned to his life, and he lived as best he could, but that base instinct is always there beneath the surface, screaming to get out. I think that’s true of many of us, and it’s a testament to our rationality and civilization that we don’t let it out more often.

JP's Sex

2006-06-30T19:09:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Sex - JP

This was kind of a cop-out for the pitch, but I like the way it turned out. Actually, it was a cop-out all around, because the idea wasn’t new; I’d been working on the idea for a story called Noir for some time now, and this is just a scene from the much larger story. I still plan on writing Noir, and I hope I can work this into it substantially unchanged. JED likes the contrast between the filthiness of the city and the purity of the sex; I tend to agree. The dream segment is intended to be highly visual in the overlay of Rual on the sex scene, and I hope I succeeded in that. Some of Rual’s comments were intended to interplay with the action, but I was amazed at how well even the ones I didn’t intend to actually still did. I like the present tense voice, but I wonder if it can be sustained through a much longer story… maybe the narrative should be broken up so that Ben only tells parts of it.

JED says thusly:

JP's Dog Days of Summer

2006-06-30T19:08:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Dog Days of Summer - JP

This story started off as a matter-of-fact reflection by a middle-aged werewolf. I still think that would make a good story, especially after getting JED’s input and ideas, and maybe I’ll write that someday. When I finally sat down to write the story, though, I felt like I didn’t want another matter of fact reflective story like I wrote for Memory Garden, so I decided to try and write a cartoon instead. This is what emerged. JED views it as a prologue to the much longer story of Leo and Tam’s past with Mikah. I prefer to think of it as the start to a new story, though I haven’t yet figured out what. I still wonder if I should have discussed what the characters are.

JED says thusly:

JED's Dog Days of Summer

2006-06-30T19:07:00.000-05:00

Link of Original Story: Dog Days of Summer - JED

Well, I tried something different this time. Several somethings different, actually. I knew fairly quickly that I didn't want to write anything that was a play on words, nothing about real dogs, or anything like that. Sooo that left me with trying to encapsulate some of the actual feeling of the "dog days of summer." Seeing as how I was writing this DURING the dog days my inspiration was right at hand. And the idea to use a conversation between JP and myself came to me pretty quickly. I also thought it might be a good chance for me to do some cathartic writing. I'm really nervous about being a postdoc (what if I suck, what if it sucks, what if nothing interesting happens, what if they figure out I'm an idiot, etc, etc). So I figured what the hell, go for ultra-realistic. I also wanted to do something different as far as writing style. I'd been thinking about some sort of film noir kinda thing, but that really wouldn't work with this pitch. So I settled on having it be almost entirely dialog. For the record, that is not easy to do. You have to establish characters with at least somewhat separable identities and maintain an image in the reader's mind without ever actually describing the scene. It is not something at which I excel (especially given that I don't like writing dialog at all). So I cheated a little and let myself put in one line of description at the end of each section. I don't actually like this story very much, but that doesn't mean that I think it's bad. It doesn't suck, it's just, not my taste. I think the dialog itself came out better than I hoped, fairly real, and not too stereotyped. As JP pointed out, neither of the characters is too extreme, they seem fairly similar, though at different stages of life. I like that. I'm not sure the story has much resolution, but I hope that I threw in enough random imagery that a reader might see something smarter than what I intended ("Ah, the crab is like that guy, and the heron is like the other guy, see? And the stick is like this metaphorical representation of existential angst, dig?"). Anyway, I hope it's not so personal that it becomes meaningless to anyone other than he and I; I tried to keep the characters fairly nondescript on purpose. JP had two excellent points: 1) don't put apostrophes after "summers" and "Sundays" (I could have punched myself in the mouth for that one, stupid, stupid, stupid) and 2) The last descriptive wandered perilously close to narrative voice. This story shouldn't have a narrator, so the descriptives should be written without verbal inflection – otherwise they sound too 3 rd persony. I cheated a little and fixed it with his suggestion (a comma and an and). Oh well, shoot me.

JP says thusly:

JED's Memory Garden

2006-06-30T19:06:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Memory Garden - JED

This story is the exact opposite of last weeks story. Or on second thought, it's not. Like last week I waited to the last minute to work on this. I put it off until noon Friday, mostly because I was able to come up with excuses, and convince myself that there was plenty of time left (this is a disturbing pattern in my life). While I was working I was thinking of a couple of ideas – Alzheimer's, family bibles, memorial gardens, etc. But I didn't even have a precise theme until the last minute. The first thing that came to me was the first sentence. And I think I wanted it to be in first person because JP does so well with voice – partly to show him that I could do it, but mostly to prove to myself that I could do it. But I ended up being pretty fortunate in that it just flowed. I sat down to write and the story just unrolled itself like a red carpet. I really like it. I like the integrated themes of bible and memory loss. I like the overt garden metaphor and the flashbacks. It might not be the best story but I'm really quite happy with the way it turned out. Again, I went over and then had to cut it back, but I think so long as it's just a little over, that method works well. The only thing I'm not crazy about is the last sentence or too – bit cheesy. JP and I discussed how it's interesting to "find your place" when reading these stories. In the beginning he wasn't certain who the narrator was, thinking her to be a little girl, then a young woman, and finally realizing that she was an elderly woman with Alzheimer's. I think that could work against you because you could end up spending too much time trying to find your place and miss some of the theme and beauty in the first couple of paragraphs. But it isn't always a bad thing, the feeling of everything snapping into view can be very pleasing. Like a lot else, I guess you just have to balance one against the other. JP and I also agree that it's neat to see the extended world of the stories. I hope (and think) that anyone who reads this can see that this is only one part of the character's lives and stories. For instance, Henry is a big part of the main character's life, though he isn't the point of this story.

JP says thusly:

JP's Memory Garden

2006-06-30T19:05:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Memory Garden - JP

This is one my personal favorites. The only problem is that the characters are clearly Japanese, but have Chinese names. I had originally intended them to be Chinese, but after a little research, the garden themes I wanted came from Japan. By that time, though, I had become too attached to the names to change them. One interesting thing about this story, after talking to JED, is that the places where I was worried about bashing the reader over the head slipped by unnoticed. The reemergence of Liang Sun in the form of the sun-colored koi, for example. Overall, this is possibly the most pre-planned story I’ve ever written, and consequently contains the most symbolism I’ve ever packed into such a small space.

JED says thusly:

JP's Beekeeper

2006-06-30T19:04:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Beekeeper - JP

This is the first version of the piece, and most all of it was written in about an hour and a half before midnight on Saturday when it was due. Originally, it was intended to be a sort of scifi retelling of Edmund Fitzgerald, but I couldn’t get into the shipwreck story mood that was supposed to be the basis for the entire thing, so I just wrote to have something to turn in. At the last minute, I realized the piece could be something else entirely—a story within a story within a story. Thus, the story changed from being a simple shipwreck retold to being the narrator’s own writing about a fictional meeting with an old friend who has died. I’ve refined it a little and have a much better version, but since this is the copy that was turned in, I’ve placed the commentary on it.

JED says thusly:

JED's Beekeeper

2006-06-30T19:02:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Beekeeper - JED

This was a really hard one to do. Not because of the pitch (which in retrospect wasn't the easiest, though I still think it's a good one), but just because I put it off, and never really meshed with the story. I was fairly busy procrastinating and getting ready to travel back to SC this week, so I only had a few paragraphs, maybe a page or so, by midnight Saturday (for the record you can't write very well on an airplane). JP was in the same position, and we came really close to putting it off. But for some reason we decided to keep on working, to push through, even if what we put to the page was utter crap. That was a good decision, because in the end it wasn't that bad. I like some of the metaphors (though I still needed to bring up some of the more subtle ones, like white's as bees), and I like the general idea. I like some of the lines, particularly the last ones, and some of the descriptives. That said, it was still more than a bit rough in spots. It felt like the story wanted to be something else; like it was an unruly dog and I had to keep jerking the leash to get it back in line. In many ways the story wanted to be more about the plague and the backstory than about the bees and whites. I also think I needed more space. I didn't sufficiently play up the final realization that whites and natives are the same and the hopelessness that the main character has in that realization. Instead, it kinda seems like the whites just really aren't bad at all, and I certainly didn't intend that. I ran out of space and the consequence is that it all speeds up and becomes compressed towards the end. Some of the lines also felt forced and a bit cliché. But the best thing I learned here was that you need to push on through. That just because you aren't inspired doesn't mean you shouldn't write. Sometimes forcing the words brings inspiration. And sometimes it doesn't but at least you've got something on the page. As JP said "there are no time-outs in the Game." Word.

JP says thusly:

JP's Rules of the Game

2006-06-30T19:00:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Rules of the Game - JP

This is the second draft of this story; the first draft had the rules listed at the end. C (aka, JP’s woman) suggested that this was too tacked on, and JED agreed after he read it, so I rearranged it to integrate the rules and make them more of the story’s point rather than an addition at the end. Part of the consequence of this is that the paragraphs are not perfectly parallel with their respective rules; honestly, I liked both the paragraphs and the rules and didn’t want to change either one. According to JED, this semi-symmetry works better than perfect symmetry would have, and I liked the way it read like that too, but I could probably stand to make the rules a touch more on point in one or two places.
Essentially, this piece is a metaphor for the pursuit of love and the chase of a romantic ideal. I didn’t realize that myself until I was about half-way through the writing; it was an undercurrent in the entire piece, trying to pull it together, and once that occurred to me, the rest came fairly easily, though I worry that I might have made it to overt once I realized it.

JED says thusly:

JED's Rules of the Game

2006-06-30T07:01:00.000-05:00

Link to Original Story: Rules of the Game - JED

I knew the general gist of what I was going to write almost as soon as I got the pitch, but initially I thought it was going to be much more of a dialog between the two characters. I'm glad (and JP agrees with me on this) that it didn't end up that way. George's character is kind of a stand in "everyman" but I think he also has some of his own character (JP points out that he actually manages to go through a character arc in 2 pages). JP mentioned a few things that I want to consider:
a) The sentence about George not knowing about atom bombs, really takes you out of character. Everything prior to this is seen pretty much from George's point of view, and this builds the narrator into it more. That wasn't really my intention, and I think it might be kind of distracting, just for a cheap laugh.
b) The use of the sun as visual metaphor for God's relationship with light (the constraints of not making it go away, etc) might have been a little too "light-handed" (ha ha). I was afraid that it would be too heavy, once I noticed it was there, but as JP says, authors are often more aware of their subtle intent than readers, so I shouldn't be so afraid.
c) I think I should have stayed away from the pun about "life is a drag." It seemed funny when I wrote it, but now I think it might have been a bit of a cheap shot.
All in all though, I'm really happy with how this turned out. I like the idea as a play from the pitch. I think it was creative but did a very good job of capturing the essence of "the rules." I like the way that the dialog developed between the characters, and the fact that you never know if he's God or just some loony. I like the way that God expresses himself, that it captures the casual awareness/disregard he has for the audience. I also like that it relates the act of creating art to the story, and the note that you're never sure if you're creating or just uncovering. It isn't heavy handed, and I don't think it's too cliché.

JP says thusly: